In the Wind Read online

  "Staying over?" Colbie asks when we arrive at the house.

  "No, I better get back to my hotel room for clean clothes."

  "Tomorrow, just move here. Won't be long before Sawyer decides to go back to Ellsberg. Why waste the money while you wait?"

  "I'm not going back," Sawyer snaps.

  "Sure, Queen Cranky."

  The twins disappear somewhere in the house, leaving Sawyer and me alone in the main hall.

  "I guess I could move my crap here until Cooper accepts you're not going home."

  "I'm not."

  "I know."

  "Cooper and you can't make me."

  "I know."

  Sawyer's anger fades until she seems more frustrated than anything else. "Tonight didn't mean shit, so don't come back tomorrow thinking you're getting laid again."

  Sawyer hurries down the hallway, but never reaches the kitchen. I pin her to the wall and frown down at her.

  "Sawyer Johansson is afraid of a lot of things. Butterflies, for one."

  "They're deceptively evil."

  "True, but she shouldn't be afraid of giving me a good night kiss."

  "I don't want to kiss you ever again."

  My hands are at each side of her shoulders, but she tries to duck under. I block her with my knee.

  "I want to go to bed."

  "You know how to make that happen."

  Even though I feel waves of uncertainty rolling off her, Sawyer is too damn stubborn to admit her fear. Lifting her lips, she does her best to act indifferent.

  I lower my lips and kiss her softly. We're years passed our first gawky kiss when I was lucky not to choke her with my tongue. I know her now. Know myself better too. I give her a tiny bit of heat, sucking slightly on her soft lips. My tongue wants to play too, but I keep myself under control.

  Sawyer doesn't.

  Her hands grip my hair, pulling me tighter. Her lips spread and her tongue searches for mine. I don't know where the kiss will lead or how far it might go, but we're interrupted by Zane's arrival home. Stepping away from her, I cup her face and caress her hungry lips with my thumb.

  "You're the only woman I ever dream about," I whisper.

  "We'll see."

  I leave before Sawyer has a chance to find her courage again. My second chance is in reach, but I fear fucking it up. Sawyer is all I've ever wanted. Yet, I ran away before. I just pray I can keep myself from doing it again.

  Chapter 23

  Sawyer

  Drive By

  After his Harley roars away and the taillights disappear into the dark night, I think to take a shower and wash off the feel of our quickie in the closet. I even turn on the water and undress. Sitting on the toilet, I feel like crying, but I don't.

  Fuck Jace!

  My skin crawls with desire and the throbbing need between my legs nearly drives me insane. I know from experience how a cold shower won't do a thing to help. When I crave Jace, nothing less than his body will do.

  Exercise helps. Sugar too. Booze is a real tonic. Yet they only distract from what I want.

  Turning off the water, I accept I'm not ready to wash away the scent of him on my body. I wanted to fuck tonight, and I got fucked. No shame in enjoying Jace's body. No harm in finding pleasure after nine months alone.

  Heading downstairs, I hope to run into the twins, but they're not in any of the normal places. While the house has a basement and several floors I haven't visited, I'm not in the mood to get lost searching for them.

  I consider swimming laps or working out in the gym. Instead, I search for something sugary to eat in the kitchen. Settling on a quart of chocolate chip ice cream, I sit at the giant island and embrace the happiness found in empty calories.

  I hear shuffling moving towards the kitchen. My time with the twins making me paranoid, I reach for my gun. JJ appears at the doorway with a rifle slung over his shoulder. He enters as if knowing I was there. Glancing around, I wonder for the millionth time if the place is rigged with cameras.

  "Ice cream out of the container. Someone had a tough day."

  Nodding, I take another scoop while he joins me at the island.

  "Why are you down, kid?"

  "A lot of little things, but I miss my dad mostly. With him around, everything made more sense."

  "I was the youngest in the family too," JJ says, dipping his spoon into the ice cream container. "Not so much younger than the others like you, but my dad was more interested in being a father by the time I came along. He and I were close. Best friends in many ways. He lived here until he died the last time."

  "The last time?"

  "Died three times. First two times, he came back. Not as a zombie, of course. Trust me, we checked. It was as if he headed up to the pearly gates and decided he wasn't ready. That or they kicked his ass back down. Either way, he lived here until the end. His death was four years ago, and the house still feels empty even with so many people staying here."

  "I still lived with my parents before moving here."

  "Will your mom be okay alone?"

  "She's not alone. She has my brothers and sister plus the grandkids. Lots of friends too."

  "That's good. I was lonely after my dad died. In fact, I refused to let the kids leave. Even locked them in the padded room for a few days, so they wouldn't be too far out of my sight."

  I think to ask about the padded room, and decide I'm too depressed to deal with more crazy.

  "I guess I wanted things to stay the same after Pop died, but everyone moved on really fast. They all have things to do. Jobs and kids. My mom decided to go on a cruise. People get over death too fast."

  "Or they pretend to get over it better than we do."

  "Maybe."

  We take turns scooping spoonfuls of ice cream. I know JJ isn't my dad, and I don't get a fatherly vibe off him. I do feel his grief. Even after all these years, he still misses his dad. Right or wrong, we share a need to hold on tightly to what we've lost.

  "The Jace boy is yours, correct?"

  "He used to be."

  "It's difficult to want someone who doesn't want the same things."

  Nodding, I take another scoop. JJ's hazel eyes get thoughtful.

  "I have loved a lot of women. Ironically, the kids' mom wasn't one of them. The women I loved always ran away because I was never enough for them. Oh, they claimed living out here with my kids and the nannies was too hard for them. I figured if they loved me enough, the rest wouldn't matter."

  Setting down my spoon, I feel freakishly tired. "Jace is messed up. His parents were murdered, and he was there when they died. He had therapy and a good adopted family, but he's still messed up. I know he wants me, but he wanted me years ago and still left. How can I trust a man like that?"

  "You can't," JJ says. "Or maybe you can. I don't know. Once things end with a woman, I find another woman or I don't. I never spend much time worrying over the last woman. She left me, so I figure she must be flawed not to want me."

  I grin. "Do you think Zane and Yesenia will last?"

  "Sure. As long as his sisters don't kill her. So in that case, no."

  "Why kill her?"

  "Yesenia hates horror movies and country music. She spells Lynyrd Skynyrd wrong. The poor girl has no chance. Besides, she's dull. How can she survive in a family where everyone is always wondering what they can blow up next?"

  "True."

  "I don't know about this Jace boy. He might be able to commit, and you two could be very happy. Just don't be like Bodie," JJ says, suddenly very serious. "Don't waste your life waiting for a man who is never going to stick with you. Give the bastard a deadline. If he won't make his feelings clear by then, cut his ass loose and move on. No matter how painful it is, don't waste your youth."

  Excited to hear gossip, I lean forward. "Who is Bodie waiting for?"

  "I don't know," JJ says, and I believe him. "I know she doesn't date since the first time she had sex. I've heard the squirting in her hair story."

  "She told
you that?"

  "No. I sneak around the house a lot, eavesdropping," he says, giving me a wink. "My daughter has one sexual experience and swears off men. Only two reasons for that to happen. One is she was traumatized and is too afraid to try again. Two is she fell hard for the guy and is waiting for him. Since Bodie isn't capable of feeling fear or being traumatized, she's waiting."

  I try to imagine Bodie so horrified by sex she can never get close to a man again. Seems unlikely but no more so than her waiting for some guy. Besides, who would trust their dick to her? Though I get jealous at the thought of her and Jace together, I know she'd scare him off long before they ever reached the kissing phase, let alone fucking.

  "I won't wait forever," I say quietly.

  "No one thinks they will. Forever just sneaks up on you."

  Nodding, I could easily wait for Jace forever. "I'll pick a deadline."

  "The heart is weak, and it lies. Look at Zane. He sees none of the problems waiting for him and his girl. He only sees her perfection and his happiness. My heart lied to me plenty of times. Your heart might be lying to you too. Or maybe it knows a secret. Always tricky to tell."

  Frustrated by his lack of tough love, I take a big scoop of ice cream. JJ studies me and nods at an unspoken thought.

  "With Jace, you'll need to either take a dump or get off the pot. It's what Kirk would do. He took what he wanted and remained loyal to those deserving of it. Yet he didn't linger on something not worth saving."

  Mouth full of ice cream, I smile. JJ and Pop only met a few times over the years. They weren't much alike. Even strangers, JJ knows my father well enough for me to feel like Pop is in the room with us. I can imagine him telling me to stop being a scared little girl and take what's mine.

  My heart's weak and my mind lost in grief, but my gut knows the truth.

  Chapter 24

  Jace

  Better Things To Do

  I wake up with a smile on my face. Five minutes in heaven brought me one big step closer to fixing what I fucked up. Arriving at the McLaughlin house, I have all kinds of plans for my day with Sawyer. A lot of them involve her under me.

  Instead, I'm stuck playing touch football.

  Zane explains how we're playing for the entertainment of the house staff. By we, he doesn't mean him since he's spending the day with Yesenia. I'll be stuck with Snap, Crackle, and Pop again.

  Enjoying their catered lunch, Mamas Hilde, May Dee, and Phuong sit on a secondary deck. Other staff sits with JJ, drinking wine coolers with their ribs and chicken.

  Dropping my belongings off in the room I stayed in before, I dress in shorts and a tee left out for me. Grumpy, I crave alone time with Sawyer. My mood improves immediately once I find Sawyer jumping around with the twins. I have no idea what the hell they're doing, but she looks beautiful and happy.

  Earlier in the morning, Cooper called to ask when his sister was returning home. I told him that she's going through a phase. He grunted, hanging up on me. If he saw Sawyer's smiles right now, Cooper might be a bit more patient.

  The game takes place on a large side yard with white paint signifying the goals. Sounds easy enough, yet these are the McLaughlins.

  First, the football we're playing isn't the sport Texans love. It's a fluid game where everyone does whatever they want and crotch shots are allowed.

  Second, I don't even get to be on Sawyer's team. She's teamed up with Bodie. I'm stuck with Colbie who for some damn reason uses our huddles to share gossip about people I've never met.

  "Gillian masturbates to lesbian porn, but she's not a lesbian."

  "Arlene had her hoola-hoop tightened after her divorce."

  "Vince doesn't know if any of his kids are actually his."

  After twenty minutes, we've lost a few points or maybe gained them. I honestly can't tell what the rules are in this bizarre version of touch football. I just know I'm sweaty and losing my patience with Colbie's sharing.

  "Why are you telling me that shit?" I finally ask during a huddle.

  Colbie smiles brightly. "I think you and Sawyer are a cute couple. I figured if I was annoying enough you wouldn't accidentally fall in love with me before you two get back together."

  "You're a sweet chick, but I promise you don't need to worry about that problem."

  "Whatever you have to tell yourself, Sawyer's bitch."

  Rolling my eyes, I stop pretending we're talking about the game and stand up straight. Colbie joins me long enough to trash talk her sister.

  "Gonna cut ya, skank."

  Smirking, Colbie begins a staring contest. Their focus elsewhere, I walk towards Sawyer. Her wild hair once wrapped into a tight ponytail is falling apart now. I think to make a comment until she runs at me.

  "Run!" Colbie screams, skipping around the playing field while Bodie just stares at her.

  I have no idea if Colbie is yelling at me. With her skipping, I assume this is a twins thing. Only when Sawyer tries to tackle me do I realize I have the ball and we're playing. Would it kill someone to blow a fucking whistle when the game is on again?

  Sawyer's tackling attempt is pathetic, and I stand casually with her hanging off my right side. When she doesn't let go, I can't tell if her plan is to climb me or knock me down. Sawyer is as difficult to read as the twins.

  "Which way is my goal?" I ask Sawyer.

  "I don't know. Even if I did, I wouldn't help you. I want to win."

  "I think you're a thousand points ahead," I say as she wraps her legs around my waist. "Wait, are you coming on to me?"

  Sawyer growls, and I finally accept we're playing the game. The twins meanwhile are now wrestling around on the ground and trying to make each other eat grass. This means the field is open for me to score.

  Walking steadily towards my goal, I grin at Sawyer. She jerks her body against mine, trying to force me lose my balance.

  "I'm going to score," I say, still walking. "Maybe with you tonight too."

  Sawyer glares at me. When her blue eyes blink rapidly, I know she's thinking. Shit, I might be in trouble.

  Worried about my balls, I never expect her to climb up and latch onto my throat with her soft lips. Sawyer sucks at my skin, sending my dick into an erection in two seconds. If her plan is to make my cock too painfully hard for me to walk, she's on the right path.

  "I'm open," yells one of the twins from the goal line.

  All the blood rushing to my crotch explains why I throw the ball when on some level I know the twin is Bodie. She catches the ball and runs towards the other goal. Colbie tackles her, leading to more wrestling. This time, Bodie's goal is to shove the ball up her sister's ass.

  Sawyer's lips release my throat while she glances at the screaming twins. She even slides off me. No way am I letting her get away so easily.

  Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pull her back against me.

  "No," she mutters.

  "I can't hear you over their screaming," I lie, keeping her back to my chest so I can kiss her neck. "They're so loud."

  "I said stop!" Sawyer yells, twisting around to kiss me. "Dickhead."

  Mixed signals aside, Sawyer climbs me again, and my arms keep her in place. Sucking hungrily at my tongue, she acts like a starving woman.

  The onlookers clap at our display, and the twins do a cheer about Sawyer and me fucking in a tree. By the time Colbie begins chasing Bodie around the yard, I'm carrying Sawyer into the house and away from prying eyes.

  Chapter 25

  Sawyer

  Here I Am

  Stripped naked, Jace isn't the same guy I remember. He's filled out in a lot of ways, but he was always packing a sizable cock. The first time I saw it, I told him my vagina might need a few rounds with the football team to ensure he fit. Jace's possessive expression that day surprised me. The look on his face as we stand in the shower is similarly startling.

  "You got your panties in a twist about my porn comment," he says, pinching my nipples the way I like. "You know I love your tits. I love the way
they bounce when you laugh hard or when I fuck you hard. They way your pink nipples need rough pinching to get hard."

  I say nothing, leaning my head against the tiled walls. My eyes take in the sight of all his hard flesh. I want to know this new Jace. Taste all of his new muscles and rediscover all the old ones.

  Wanting him, I still feel the old hurt from the day he left me. "This doesn't mean anything," I say, unable to stop myself.

  "It means what it means."

  Pushing him away, I frown. "What the fuck does that mean?"

  "It means you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

  I stare into his dark eyes and know he's telling the truth. Jace isn't hiding. He's not playing any mind games, even with himself. He really does look at me and think I'm beautiful. My unquenchable lust beats back all those hurt feelings.

  "Fuck me," I growl, stepping up on the shower seat and climbing into his arms. "Fuck me, but don't talk. Words aren't our friends."

  Jace takes my suggestion and uses his lips to devour mine rather than speak. Our wet bodies slip and slide, but his long hard cock finally eases into my body. I fucking giggle at the feel of him stretching me open and claiming me again.

  Bouncing joyfully on his cock, I never worry about Jace dropping me. Not when he has all these new muscles to keep me safe.

  Coming fast and hard, I laugh with relief. I'd wanted him since he returned his cock to his pants the night before. Jace sucks at my throat, hard enough to leave hickeys. I think back to the first one he gave me and the look Pop got when he saw it. Laughing again, I feel a weight lift off me and a little freedom handed back.

  I don't know if Jace comes before we leave the shower. He's so fucking hard when he rests me soaking wet on the bed. I turn over on my knees and lift my ass up.

  Leaning forward, Jace kisses the tattoo on my shoulder and shoves his cock back inside me. I glance back at him, smiling at the hunger in his eyes. No way do I want him satisfied. I expect to be fucked until my pussy files a restraining order and not a minute sooner.

  Jace's hips pump vigorously, pushing me closer to another orgasm. I know he's close too. His fingers grip my waist, pulling my hips back to meet his.