Gentle On My Mind (Reapers MC: Pema Chapter Book 1) Read online

  Even snickering at her husband’s situation, Raven watches me. Right then, she forgets to hide her disapproval of Violet. Before my woman notices and her feelings get hurt, I saunter over to my mother and hug her tightly.

  “You little shit,” she mutters, fighting to get free. “Vaughn, help me.”

  “I’m too weak. If only I were more butch.”

  Raven goes limp in my arms, trying to use gravity to free herself. I know that move from Nevaeh’s bag of tricks. I hold Mom steady until she gives up and just hugs me back.

  “I want you to have everything,” she whispers.

  “I do.”

  Frowning at me, she mutters, “You didn’t want to be VP. You gave up your train apartment.”

  “And got a firehouse instead.”

  Mom sighs deeply. “You had a good life in Shasta.”

  “Do you think Dad would give up Ellsberg for you?” I ask, and she instantly goes rigid in my arms.

  I fight a grin at her irritation. Does she wonder if Dad would walk away from his town and club for her? I doubt she ever asked. Of course, Violet didn’t ask me to, either. I just knew she couldn’t be happy in Shasta. I suspect if Vaughn thought the same about Raven and Ellsberg, he would have walked away from the club. Not without suffering on his part, but Mom is his one and only, and his family comes first.

  Even now, he struggles to free his wife from my wet grip.

  “Seriously, Mav, give it a rest,” Vaughn growls at me.

  Not budging, I explain, “I’ve missed her.”

  Dad doesn’t want to laugh, but seeing his woman pinned in my wet embrace finally sends him into wild chuckles. I glance over to see Io staring in horror at the scary man making more terrifying noises. I don’t know why he scares her, and none of the other loud-mouthed monsters in our family do. Something just clicked in her little head, and she thinks he’s a threat. Meanwhile, she acts as if Colton is a big dope and turns her back on his loud mouth all the time.

  I free my mom, and she immediately shakes herself dog-style. “I need a shower,” she grumbles and pretends to be angry. “You’re grounded, Maverick. I’m sorry, but children need boundaries.”

  Shrugging, I walk back to the bags and take the heaviest two. Violet is now out of her jacket but still soaked. She does grab the three smaller bags, loses one of them, and gets help from Avery.

  “After everyone gets cleaned up,” Savannah announces as if she’s the tour director, “we’ll meet in the lounge for cocoa with marshmallows.”

  “Fancy shit,” Vaughn says, nudging Raven. “Wonder if they offer room service?”

  We pile into the elevator while the kids help Savannah wipe up the water at the front door. I don’t know where Bjorn went, but I assume he’s waiting until the grunt work is complete before showing his pretty face.

  “We can shower together,” Violet says once we’re alone in our room.

  I smile at her chattering teeth and follow her into the still hideously-decorated bathroom, where we strip down and get inside the snug shower stall.

  “Are you happy?” I ask despite her smiling face.

  Violet stops soaping up my cock and then frowns at me. “I want to play more before we get cocoa.”

  Kissing her softly, I shiver at the feel of her soft fingers against my dick. “Okay, but not in here. I’ve taken a firm stance against shower sex.”

  “Why?”

  “I won’t say who, but a person I know nearly broke their hip after slipping in the shower during a fuck.”

  “Was it your mother?”

  “I won’t say.”

  “Your father?”

  “It’s a secret.”

  “Was it River?” she asks, giving me a grin. “No, no, if it were him, Shelby would have told me already.”

  “Let’s just choose not to risk injury when we’re supposed to feel good.”

  My words alone tighten Violet’s nipples into stiff points. She stares at me with bright, hungry eyes. When this woman gets aroused, she loses all inhibitions. I have no doubt she’d fuck me in public if the mood struck her. As fun as that might be, her moods shift quickly, and I’d never risk her feeling exposed if her walls went back up.

  And I’m a big believer in smart and safe sex. Until Violet, I never fucked a girl without a condom. I’m always aware of possible dangerous angles. Sex and sleep are the only times I’m vulnerable, and I take my safety seriously. Doubly so, since meeting Violet.

  Instead of any fancy maneuvers in the shower, I wrap Violet in a towel and take her to bed where I can explore safely.

  Violet’s pale flesh is covered in goose bumps by the time I tease her clit with the head of my cock. I study her face, trying to understand her current expression. Is she scared? I know this look isn’t lust. She seems ready to cry.

  “Should I stop?”

  “I love you so much,” she says in a tender, trembling voice. “I can’t believe you love me back.”

  “I will always love you,” I promise without hesitation. “I’ve always known what I needed to be happy. I feel no shame if what I need bothers other people. I get one life, and I plan to make it best for me. That’s why no one will steal you from me.”

  Violet’s wet eyes blink back her tears while her lips transform into a smile. Her hands reach for my chest, and she opens her thighs wider. She’s back in the mood. Violet even lifts her hips, teasing my wet cock with her sweet pussy.

  I hold her gaze as my body enters hers. Not in a quick thrust. Instead, I inch into her pussy, taking my time, watching her every little reaction. When I bottom out, her breath catches, and her eyes widen.

  Violet is part of me, and I’m part of her. That’s true even when we're not fucking. Yet right now, in the well-lit room, with no barriers between our naked bodies, our connection is more obvious. I never want Violet to doubt how she owns my heart. No one else ever could. If I lose Violet, I won’t replace her. Not in a few years or fifty. I’m not that kind of man. I’ll never open my heart to another woman. Violet is my one shot.

  And based on her easy smile and carefree moans, she trusts my love. No other man exists. Not the monster of her past and certainly no one in the future. If she loses me, Violet won’t find another man. I’m her one shot, too.

  Nothing—not my mother or Violet’s damaged brain or my seemingly cold heart—can destroy what we’ve found together.

  THE GHOST

  On the second day of their stay, Raven’s constant disapproving presence at the hotel leaves me heading for the door. Earlier, Maverick and Vaughn went to work at the firehouse. Well, the older man claims he can’t do anything strenuous since he’s elderly while on vacation. I assume he’ll just supervise.

  When everyone at the hotel is sufficiently distracted, I slip out the side door, which locks behind me. Just in case my absence is noticed, I text Avery to explain I’m going for coffee. No reason to upset Maverick if he finds out I’m missing.

  But I don’t walk straight to the coffee shop across the road. Instead, I stroll up and down a few of the nearby streets. The autumn chill doesn’t push me inside right away. I tug up the collar of my black wool jacket and keep walking. Every step takes me farther from the disapproving vibe Raven gives off. After living under the unimpressed gazes of my parents, I don’t need a new authority figure hassling me.

  In Pema, I choose to be a Majors woman. They’re not immune to insecurities, but they don’t let those worries own them. Neither will I. Even if I can never satisfy the woman who gave life to the person I love the most.

  A light drizzle forces me to finally duck into the coffee shop. I text Avery for everyone’s order. She asks if I took a shit on the way. I reply that I took a shit last night, and I only crap once a day. Avery decides not to push the issue over the phone and texts everyone’s orders. Then, she asks if I need help carrying them home. While I insist I don’t, I’m fairly certain I’ll drop something.

  I give the barista my order and then step back to check my phone. Though
I notice people moving around me, I don’t pay them much attention. Men intimidate me. Women rarely have the same power. Well, unless they’re ballbusting hippies who make gorgeous towheaded children.

  “Are you having a blessed day?” asks a woman to my right.

  Barely glancing at her, I mutter, “I’ve had better.”

  I hope she’ll catch the hint that I’m not the friendly sort and go away. Instead, her equally blonde friend says, “We know who you are.”

  My spine goes rigid at the meaning behind those words. I try to reassure myself how they mean I’m living across the street in the hotel or I’m dating the insanely hot biker. Yet, I don’t think that’s what these women are hinting at.

  Three are blonde, one is a brunette, each with a long bob haircut. The women are slightly above average in the looks department, helped by their expertly done makeup. They’re wearing matching jogging tights and windbreakers, just in different colors.

  Bumblebee Blonde flashes a flagrantly fake smile before explaining, “After your friend snuck her way into our community, we took it upon ourselves to investigate every member of your group.”

  Fuchsia Brunette says while wearing a pink-painted pout, “That’s how we learned your sad story.”

  “Missing girl,” Teal Blonde whispers dramatically.

  Crimson Blonde adds, “Parents lost to grief.”

  “All alone in a violent world,” Fuchsia Brunette continues as if they’re telling a story around the campfire.

  Bumblebee Blonde finishes off with, “Seduced by the darkness in a beautiful package.”

  “I don’t understand,” I mumble, staring dumbly like I used to do when the popular girls taunted me for being a teacher’s pet.

  “Maverick Majors is a handsome man,” Bumblebee Blonde explains, “and he charmed a lost young woman.”

  “I was all alone,” I admit.

  “Do you still feel alone?” asks Crimson Blonde.

  “Yes,” I whisper, fighting the urge to be more dramatic to match their flair. “Maverick tries, but I’m still lost.”

  “We know,” Fuchsia Burnette says soothingly. “Kambree once cared for a man like your Maverick.”

  “I was so young,” Teal Blonde explains. “Kiefer seemed to care, but I was manipulated. I only found my way free when I joined the church.”

  Despite recognizing “Kiefer” as one of the local Reapers and knowing exactly what church they attend, I ask, “What church?”

  “We support each other,” Bumblebee Blonde says, avoiding my question. “It’s a community.”

  “In Idyllwild,” I mumble, really playing up my confused ruse.

  “Yes. We’re more than a town. We’re an extended family.”

  “And you’re mad at me after my friend moved into your town?”

  O’Meara trained me well. Otherwise, I’d have laughed at their fucking expressions. Oops, they were taking me in one direction, and here we are going in another one!

  “No, not angry. We aren’t wrathful people,” Fuchsia Burnette says when the others look stumped on how to backtrack on that earlier comment now that I seem prime for the picking.

  Bumblebee Blonde sighs. “You’ve lost so much.”

  “My family died while I was gone,” I mumble.

  My words tempt them to ask where I’d been. I see Teal Blonde considering whether to push the topic. Except Bumblebee Blonde stiffens, silently signaling for Kiefer’s ex to zip it.

  “What you need is a new family where you feel cherished,” Fuchsia Burnette murmurs as if seducing me to the dark side.

  While wondering what’s taking my order so long, I say in a breathless voice, “But I have Maverick.”

  “He’s just a man, and he has his secrets,” Crimson Blonde explains. “Things you don’t know about.”

  “Things you don’t want to know about,” Teal Blonde adds. “His secrets must leave you feeling alone.”

  “Unfulfilled even,” Crimson Blonde says, piling on.

  “And he can’t heal the hurt burned inside you,” Bumblebee Blonde whispers as she looks me in the eyes.

  Lowering my gaze submissively, I mumble, “Moving to Pema has been stressful, but it’s normal to feel that way.”

  “Not if you had support from a good family who helped lift your burden.”

  Changing tactics, I back away. “I feel pressured. You’re upsetting me.”

  In unison, they take a single step back and smile warmly. I wish I could roll my eyes, but my expression remains mostly blank with only a hint of confusion.

  “We aren’t a threat,” Teal Blonde nearly cries. “We’re in Bible study.”

  Rather than acknowledge her stupidity, I blurt out, “I ran away. I didn’t think my parents loved me. Then, they were dead, and I had nowhere to go. Maverick offered me a home, but sometimes...”

  The women nearly salivate after hearing my confession. Bumblebee Blonde sighs softly, careful while making her final sale.

  “I was once lost. But I know you can’t rush a person to see the light. This Maverick Majors helped you. He made promises, no doubt. You want to trust him. But we hoped to reach out and let you know you have options.”

  “I can’t leave Maverick,” I mumble, wrapping my arms around my body as if I’m cold. “There’s nowhere to live in Pema, and no one wants me in Shasta.”

  “Why not visit our church this Sunday?” Bumblebee Blonde asks in her best mommy voice. “You can meet our people and learn how you’re not alone.”

  My name is finally called, making me wonder if the barista was holding up my order until the women finished their sales pitch. I take the pamphlet from Bumblebee Blonde. She then introduces each woman, yet they’ll remain the Color Bunch to me.

  The foursome watches me struggle with my drinks and bagel box. I notice Teal Blonde wants to ask if I need help, but Bumblebee Blonde does that thing again where she stands just a bit straighter and signals to the others to back off.

  I walk into the drizzling day, careful with my every step to avoid dropping anything. With them watching me, I revert to the Violet I was with my parents. No silliness, no mistakes, no forgiveness.

  I use my elbow to ring the front bell, and Avery opens the door immediately.

  “You can’t do that,” she growls and takes the coffee container. “You’re unarmed, and Pema isn’t tamed.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Screw that. Apologies don’t work on me. Just never do what I don’t want.”

  “Didn’t you once say it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission?”

  Avery’s green eyes flash with irritation. “Never use my own logic against me.”

  “Why are you so angry?” I whisper when I notice Raven and Vaughn watching us from the lounge.

  Avery sets down the drinks and has me do the same with the bagels. Her hands grip my shoulders as she looks me in the eye.

  “What if something happened to you?” she asks in a rough voice. “How would Maverick survive losing you? You’re his one weakness, but you aren’t safe running around town alone.”

  “I’ll be more careful,” I promise, glancing at the lounge before returning my gaze to Avery’s worried face. “But I’m not a little kid you can boss around. If I want to take a walk, I shouldn’t have to ask permission any more than you would.”

  Avery frowns at my choice to challenge her. “You need to take protection, then.”

  “I had my pepper spray and a switchblade.”

  “Oh, well, I didn’t know that.”

  “Majors women never go anywhere unarmed,” I say, and she smiles.

  Behind us, Savannah appears to play sugar to her sister’s spice. “Are we well, darlings?”

  “Yes, nut-butt.”

  “My butt is most certainly not nut-shaped.”

  Avery glances back at her sister. “Help us get everyone their treats, will you, darling dipshit.”

  “Good gravy, your mouth dove headfirst into the gutter after we visited Florida. I blame
Jacksonville.”

  “We all do,” Avery says as we carry the drinks and bagels to the lounge, where Vaughn, Raven, Bjorn, and the kids relax.

  Though I consider mentioning the Color Bunch, the incident feels like a conversation best left for Maverick. He didn’t return with Vaughn and will likely remain at the firehouse until dusk. The Idyllwild women have their plans, and I have mine, but Maverick will decide what’s what.

  THE SENTINEL

  Vaughn’s visit to the firehouse invigorates me. Before his approval, I’d been worn down by the breakneck speed of the renovation. I’m unaccustomed to dealing with so many men with their various needs. Savannah claimed this project is good practice for being VP.

  “Never know if you’ll be in the top spot,” she said the other night.

  “Not interested.”

  “You don’t own a magic eight ball. Life could take Colton, and you’d have no choice except to step up. See the good in this situation, so you’re prepared for the possible bad in the future.”

  Savannah’s words only worried me more. I had taken on a big responsibility, based on the assumption that I would keep Colton alive, and he would do the work I loathed. But life isn’t set. He’s young and healthy, and I’m very willing to murder just about anyone to keep him safe. However, he could die in a car accident, suffer a brain aneurysm, or slip in the shower. Just because his father and grandfather lived long lives doesn’t mean he will.

  My worry grows until I resent stepping foot in my dream house. I fucking gnash my teeth before bringing Vaughn over. If he says something negative, I might internally lose my shit.

  But he loves the setup. I also know he’s relieved Avery will have me right next door. He worries about her and Io living on their own. He isn’t a chauvinistic dick who thinks women need extra protection. Yet, Io is a sensitive kid in a town not fully under Reapers’ control. Having me next door to handle any threats is better than having his daughter battle assholes when she’s got a toddler to protect.

  “I never would have thought of something like this,” Vaughn says as we stand outside in the cold before he returns to the hotel. “Your mom and I bought a farmhouse and made it a nicer farmhouse. You saw something used for a very specific purpose and imagined it in a totally new way. That’s some cool shit, Mav.”