In the Wind Read online

  I see him bite his tongue to keep from mouthing off and signing his death warrant. Once his self-preservation barely wins over his ego, Bodie stands up and turns to me.

  "Would you mind beating the shit out of him for me? I'd do it, but I've gotten muddy enough for one day."

  "Specify what you mean by shit out of him. Am I breaking his bones? Are we talking soft tissue damage only?"

  Bodie grins huge for me. "My little man is growing up. Tell you what. You beat on him until you feel like stopping. Just play the entire thing by ear. As long as he doesn't die, I'll be happy. Feel free to cut him loose before or after you're done."

  Bodie leaves the pigpen, and I look at Snickers. He watches me pull out my knife.

  "Nothing personal," I say, reaching over to cut his restraints. "I have a lot of pent-up rage, and your face really annoys me."

  "How is that not fucking personal?" he asks, wobbling to his feet and making a move for me.

  Ducking his strike, I return my knife to its holster. "You're right. My bad."

  I punch him once in the jaw, and Snickers goes down. Glancing over my shoulder, I spot Bodie talking with the man on a back porch. He's offering her a drink, and they sit down to have a nice afternoon chat. Bodie walks the line between light and dark. The same line the men in my work walk. Both of my fathers, Kirk, Cooper, and the rest of the club need to know when to embrace the ugly violence of the world and when to look away.

  I focus my gaze on Snickers who slowly returns to his feet. This won't be a fair fight since he's likely been tied up for days. The nice guy in me says to take it easy on the loser. The club man doesn't agree. If you wrong those who matter to me, you become my enemy. Snickers is that guy today.

  I imagine Snickers in my childhood house, making my mother scream and taking the lives of the people I loved. Hitting him, I show no mercy and feel no pity.

  Chapter 37

  Sawyer

  Faithfully

  Jace returns in one piece. Just to be safe, I check him for an hour in bed. Even though I was never in any danger with Colbie, he decides to check me too. By the end of our inspection, I rest with my head at the foot of the bed.

  "It's naptime in the house," Jace says, wrapping my ankles into a bear hug. "Do you want to sleep or go for a ride?"

  Watching him kiss my toes, I smile. "I'm not tired."

  Jace nips at my toe before sitting up and reaching for his jeans. We get dressed and head downstairs. Tiptoeing into the kitchen near where the siblings nap, we stock up on water.

  The sun is a cruel ball in the sky, warming my skin past what's comfortable. Only when I'm on the back of Jace's Harley, and he opens up the engine can I breathe again. The wind in my hair, I wrap my arms tighter around Jace's sweaty waist.

  We ride for hours, yet never get anywhere. Texas feels like a horror movie scene where the hallway just gets longer and longer. I trust Jace will return us safely to the house. This trust feels good after a year of stumbling around lost and pissed.

  Jace pulls over to a lonely gas station to fill up. Sliding off the back of the bike, I realize my shirt is soaked with sweat. Jace is no better off, and I see the lines of his tats through his shirt.

  "I miss Ellsberg," I say before we climb back on the bike. "I want to go home."

  Jace caresses my face. "Me too."

  Hugging him to me, I love his sweaty scent. "Colbie's planning a farewell party."

  "You told her first?"

  "No, she told me to go home. Bossy little bitch."

  "Her sister told me the same."

  "They share a brain and are creepy as hell, but they're right. We bleed Ellsberg, and it's time to go home."

  Jace looks down at me, and I know he's thinking too much. Worrying in his head until he freezes and can't react. This time, he surprises me by not shutting down from all his thinking.

  "It'll be easy to fall back into my old habits when we got back. I already find myself worrying over being that guy. Whatever happens, you need to know I love you. I never stopped, not for a single second when we were apart."

  Tightening my arms around him, I hold his gaze. "If you freak out again and try to leave me, I'll keep you locked up until you come to your senses."

  Jace kisses the tip of my nose. "It's only fair since I'd do the same to you."

  "Love means knowing when to hold someone hostage."

  Grinning, Jace kisses me softly. His hands move to my hair, holding me tightly. The kiss deepens, hungry and desperate. Only the sound of snickering pulls our lips apart.

  The gas station attendant laughs at us until Jace unleashes his new dark stare. I love how the giggling freak flinches and hurries back inside. My man knows how to scare a douche with just a look. Fuck, is there anything sexier?

  "Let's get back to the house and shower," I say, tugging at his shirt.

  A smile barely touches his lips. He's thinking of me under him. With need written all over his face, he doesn't hide the hunger any better when climbing on the Harley with a grunt. I laugh at the sound of his discomfort, causing him to glance over his shoulder at me.

  "You're going to pay for that giggle."

  "I don't giggle."

  Finally, Jace smiles. He revs the engine and tells me to hold on. The drive back takes forever when I know what's awaiting me once we arrive.

  Chapter 38

  Jace

  I Love This Bar

  An hour into our farewell party at the Hidey-hole, JJ arrives and gives me an elephant gun as a farewell gift. I look over the weapon and give him a smile. He narrows his eyes, tips back his gray Stetson, and sighs.

  "You won't be smiling when the aliens arrive."

  "Are you sure? I smile a lot and usually at inappropriate times."

  Grinning, JJ pats me on the back and wanders off to find a pretty woman to woo. I add the elephant gun with the pile of other weapons given to me by the McLaughlin clan.

  Sawyer waves at me from the other end of the bar. I give her a head nod. For whatever reason, this gesture makes the twins laugh and point at me.

  "I'll miss you, man," Zane says, handing me a beer.

  "Bullshit."

  "I know, right?" he says, walking away. "It's the thought that counts though."

  The twins join Zane on the dance floor for a line dance from Incestville. Busy worrying for the future children, I nearly miss Mac entering the bar.

  Snickers stands at the doorway for a second before turning around and walking back out. I can't stifle my laugh.

  "Are you leaving?" Mac asks.

  I point at the sign hanging over the bar that reads, "Farewell Sawyer and Jace!"

  "Just checking," he says, giving me a nod. "Have a nice trip and don't come back."

  I give him a dirty look, but he's more interested in his wife dancing with the twins and Zane. Focusing my dark gaze on Caveman, he stares back with the dead eyes. Creepy fucker.

  Walking across the bar, I join Sawyer in a quiet booth away from all the dancing and horrible attempts at singing.

  "If I ever get cold like that guy," I say, kissing her forehead and cheek and other cheek and lips. Finally, I remember my point. "Pull me back, if I get fucked up like him. I want to be scary, not evil."

  "I'll remember that," she murmurs, stroking my chest. "Wait, what did you say?"

  Laughing, we try to cool off and barely succeed.

  The siblings are now ballroom dancing. Zane takes turns partnering with each sister. I notice Yesenia watching from a table. She looks more out of place than I feel most days.

  "Do you think Yesenia can make things work with Zane?"

  "If she loves him enough," Sawyer says, wrapping her arms around my right one, "she'll learn to adjust. We made things work, and our problems were deeper than her dislike for the twins."

  Nodding, I think about those problems. Embracing the old memories makes me stronger. They also make me edgy. Living a fake life has advantages that being honest can't claim.

  "Want me to tell
you something about yourself?" Sawyer asks softly.

  "Yes," I whisper.

  "The last Christmas we spent together, I baked homemade gingerbread cookies for you. I was so proud of making everything myself. You ate over half of the batch and praised me a ton," she says, studying my face. "You didn't like them though."

  "That obvious?"

  "No, but I could tell."

  "Sorry."

  "I liked that you lied to spare my feelings. That's husband behavior right there. Pop didn't like Mom's baked chicken. Loved her fried chicken and barbecue chicken though. Hell, he loved everything she made, but not the baked kind. He ate it though and told her it was awesome. When you did the same thing, I know you were more than a boyfriend. You were my forever."

  "Then I fucked it all up."

  "And fixed it in the end. Where we end up matters more than how it started, Jace."

  "I knew there was a reason I loved you more than anyone else."

  Sawyer nearly climbs into my lap, but controls herself when the twins arrive carrying two large wrapped gift boxes.

  "We know our time together is nearly over," Bodie says.

  Colbie sighs. "And you're still so very uneducated. Stupid really."

  Sawyer tears open the gifts and frowns. "What am I looking at?"

  "Boxes, dumbass."

  "Oh," Sawyer says, opening the boxes. "Oh, great."

  Colbie smiles. "All the horror movies you've missed over the years. Everything from C.H.U.D to Saw 23. We even added all sixteen Paranormal Activity movies. You're welcome."

  "The three Matrix movies are in there too," Bodie says. "I wouldn't suggest you watch the last two. They're fucking awful, but I bought them as a set."

  "This is so great and useless," Sawyer says, hugging the twins. "So very useless."

  "You say that now, but wait until you're attacked by sewer crocs or tornado sharks," Colbie murmurs.

  "Or more likely the zombie apocalypse happens. You really need to be ready for that one. Too many weird cannibal incidents in the news lately. I'd watch those movies first."

  Standing, I embrace Bodie before Colbie tackles me into a bear hug. Sawyer pulls the woman off me and shoves Bodie away.

  "My stallion," she growls at the twins. "Mine. No touch."

  Colbie places her hands on Sawyer's cheeks. "I'm going to miss your eloquence most of all."

  Sawyer laughs, but still blocks the twins from getting touchy with me. I only smile. My woman takes what she wants without asking questions. I've always loved her stubborn nature. It's what drew me to her, and what kept her heart open to me after the last nine months.

  Chapter 39

  Sawyer

  Goodbye to You

  The McLaughlins insist we use their private jet to fly to Ellsberg. Not only do we love the idea of flying in style, we know there's no other way to arrive home quickly and keep all the weapons gifted at our farewell party. In a giving mood, they plan to pay to have the Harley and SUV transported to Ellsberg too.

  "So long, Annie," Colbie says, shoving me away after the hug. "Don't fuck up things again and expect us to bail you out."

  "You're really good at goodbyes. Like, you could go pro."

  Hiding her face under her cowboy hat, Colbie nods. "You wanted hugs? Well, fuck you for thinking you deserve hugs."

  Jace laughs. "She sounds like she might cry."

  Colbie shrugs coldly, turning to her brother for a hug. Bodie watches this display and reveals nothing of her own mood.

  "I don't cry," she finally mutters.

  "Good for you," I say, hugging her. "Thanks for the help. We'll visit soon. Take care."

  "You're as bad as her." Bodie squirms out of my hug and focuses on Jace. "Stay frosty." When he frowns, she throws her arms in the air. "I swear you fuckers have never seen a single movie ever in the history of movies."

  "I saw all three Dumb and Dumber movies," he says, and I swear they look ready to tear him apart.

  Bodie pats her sister on the back. "This was fun and heartwarming. See you around, Neo and Trinity."

  "I get that reference," I say.

  Rolling her eyes, Bodie returns to the SUV with her siblings while Jace and I walk up the steps to the jet.

  "Fancy," he says, sitting in a seat. "Living like this, I can see how the McLaughlins got so weird."

  "I have plans for the family businesses. Maybe one day, we'll get a jet."

  Jace grins. "I bet you do. Hey," he says, leaning over. "Think we can have sex during the flight?"

  Looking around and noticing a door at the back, I open it to find a bedroom.

  "You have to be kidding me!" I cry.

  Before we get too rowdy, the flight attendant shows up to offer us drinks before we take off. I rejoin Jace and take the beer.

  "Yeah, fancy," I say, resting my head against his arm.

  Once we take off, the attendant disappears and we see our chance to sneak off into the bedroom. Our naked activities eat up most of the flight time. We manage to enjoy a quick meal of barbecue chicken and the best mash potatoes besides Mom's.

  "I hate flying," I say, grinning ear to ear when we land. "This wasn't flying though."

  Jace holds my hand and stares out the window like an excited kid. I love when his eyes shine the way they do right now. So focused on him, I don't think about how excited I am to see my family.

  After landing, we step off the plane at the small airport Cooper convinced the county to build to increase "trade." I'm surprised to see both of my brothers waiting for us nearby.

  Like a dork, I run to them and fling myself at Cooper. He hugs me tightly, almost seeming like he won't let go. Tucker's hug is nearly as crazy suffocating. I'm glad they missed me since I sure as hell missed them.

  "Bailey is coming to the house with the boys after they're done at school," Cooper says, looking now at little embarrassed by his affection.

  I study my blond brothers and see so much of Pop in them. When I left Ellsberg, I wanted away from seeing those similarities. Now I crave them.

  "You two finally stopped fucking off and got back together, huh?" Tucker asks, reminding me of why I smack him so often.

  "Shut up, fuckwit," I say lovingly while patting his cheek.

  Jace looks over my brothers, showing little reaction. I notice them sizing him up. Something's changed in the power balance, and they all feel it.

  I don't care about that part. I want to get home, see the family dogs, and hug Kim. Lifting my face to the sun, I inhale the distinct scents of Ellsberg, Kentucky.

  "Let's get you home," Cooper says, drawing my attention back to the men.

  Jace moves to the waiting SUV our bags and the massive boxes full of horror movies. I offer to help, but he's making manly moves in front of my brothers. Since I prefer this method to the men pulling out their dicks and asking me to measure them, I stand back and look pretty.

  On the drive to my house, I stick my head out of the window like a dog. Jace laughs at me while my brothers race by on their Harleys. I can't be sure, but I think they're laughing too. I don't care about their reactions. Ellsberg smells like heaven in the summer. No, it smells like memories.

  If I close my eyes, my mind returns to dozens of childhood memories. I settle on riding with Pop on his Harley down the dirt roads around our property.

  Arriving at the house, I'm crying. "Happy memories," I tell a worried Jace.

  "There were a lot of them."

  I feel as Jace did on the plane. The kid in me doesn't know what to do first. I play with the dogs before running inside to see Kim. I want to swim in our pool and watch TV on the couch I often shared with Pop. Soon, I'll make something in the kitchen where I spent so many hours with Mom.

  Homesickness turned my life in Ellsberg into a fantasy, and I'm now living that dream.

  Chapter 40

  Jace

  Carry On Wayward Son

  One horrible night broke up my blessed life, and I later lost my way for nine months. Otherwise, happi
ness tends to fall in my lap.

  Returning to Ellsberg, we slide back into our old lives. Friends visit, and I hang out with my family. The first night, Sawyer chases Tucker around the room when he farts at her face. Later, she chases Bailey around when her sister hugs her for too long. Everything feels comfortable as if the last nine months hadn't happened.

  The day after we arrive in Ellsberg, I get a haircut. No denying I'm not Judd or Vaughn. I like my hair out of my face, so I cut it shorter. Sawyer rewards me with fun in the pool.

  "You be whoever you want to be as long as that guy loves me," she says as we sit outside under the stars.

  I stop driving my Harley and tell Cooper I want a break from the club. He only thanks me for bringing his sister back and warns me not to hurt her again. I give him a dirty look that makes his eyes widen. The Bottle of Hate trick even surprises Cooper.

  Two days after we arrive in Ellsberg, Jodi returns. I watch the poor woman smothered by four grown children desperate for her attention. Despite the silliness of their display, I know Sawyer needs her mom to be happy. Last Dollar was always a fantasy.

  Sawyer and Jodi are inseparable those first few days. I don't mind the quiet time while I figure things out. My brother-in-law Dylan offers to have me work for his construction company. I also consider going to college or tech school.

  In the end, I miss the roar of my Harley. Sawyer and I ride for hours the night I reclaim my bike. Nothing feels as good as speeding down the dark roads with my woman's arms wrapped around my waist.

  Also missing being part of the Reapers, I see the club guys talking and wish to be part of the conversation. The reality is I always felt left out of the group because I never forced my way into it. Hiding in my head won't instill a sense of camaraderie in the men. They want to feel your loyalty. They want to believe I'll die and kill for them. Badass men can't bond with someone who tells them lies. Until I demand request, they'll never view me as their equal.

  No more lying, I return to the club with a sense of purpose. I am a Reaper. Not only because my dad is or because it's what I'm expected to do. I'm a Reaper because I feel it in my gut. Just as I did with Sawyer, I know what's mine.