Little Memphis Read online

  A moment passes while we listen to the muffled sounds of men freezing.

  “The other night was nice,” Pax says quietly. “Didn’t feel like a bitch hanging around. Felt like she could be family.”

  I lose my smile. “I want Shay, but she’s a chick and they come with needs. They want shit like kids and can you imagine me with fucking toys everywhere? I don’t know if I can give her what she needs, but I’m enjoying the ride until she realizes I’m a dead end for her.”

  Pax frowns. “Don’t be a turd. If an asshole like Trigger can have an old lady, why can’t you?”

  Remembering the look in Shay’s eyes when I left her, I want this club shit to be over. My chest hurts, thinking about her. My dick is pretty sad about it too. Mostly, I worry she won’t be around when I get done.

  37

  Shay

  Bad Influences

  One day I hope to have the confidence of Darby Curran. She walks through the mall in her 1950’s poodle skirt, catching the eye of every shopper. She refuses to give a shit about their opinions. Even wanting to feel powerful, I’m still a follower today.

  We meet Bull’s wife Lupe first. She’s younger than Jenn and Darby, but older than me and Bebe. The small Latina is wearing big hoop earrings and a flowered dress. She’s shivering when we find her in front of the Sephora store.

  “It’s gotten so cold,” she says. “Ah, this is Lucky’s daughter. I can tell around the eyes.”

  Darby winks at me then waves at Jenn and Amanda. Bebe steps closer to me, feeling out of place. She’s the only one untied to a club guy.

  I don’t understand the casual relationship between Amanda and Darby. If Ford dumps me and hooks up with another chick, I won’t want to be her buddy. Of course, I’m immature that way.

  The six of us walk into Sephora to look at makeup. I’m not buying anything on my salary and Bebe’s eyes get huge when she checks the price tags.

  “Cleaning toilets doesn’t pay like it F U C K I N G used to.”

  “Honey,” Lupe says,” you don’t need to spell in front of these bitches. They talk like gutter trash. Trust me, I know. When I moved here with Bull, I didn’t know much English. The girls taught me lots of profane words. Really nasty stuff too.”

  Jenn and Amanda laugh then high-five. Darby wraps an arm around the shorter Lupe.

  “They’re such bad influences.”

  “You were the worst!” Lupe cries.

  We laugh as Darby waves off the accusation. I stand with Bebe near the entrance. We’re not buying anything and looking at stuff we can’t afford is depressing.

  “Cramps?” Bebe asks while I hold my gut.

  “Yeah. Since I started getting those shots for birth control, my body has a system. There’s one heavy day where I’m angry and want to beat people up. That’s today. Tomorrow, I’ll be really sleepy and not very heavy. For the last day, I’ll have spotting with occasional moments of sleepiness and rage. Every month is like clockwork.”

  “So you managed to have your period during the off period with Ford. Was that a plan?”

  “He said he’d nail me whether I was on my period or not. I said that was gross. Once he took off his shirt, I figured if he didn’t care then why should I? Except this morning, he said he needed to work, so maybe he really was trying to avoid my lady issues.”

  “Howie wouldn’t get near me when I was on my period. That was fine with me since he was a bad F U C K. I mean, he was okay on rare occasions, but the majority of the time, I felt like a blowup doll. Luckily, I watched that movie When Harry Met Sally, so I knew how to fake orgasms.”

  We share a grin then follow the women out of the store.

  “Shay needs a pair of heels,” Darby announces, “but her nails should get done first,”

  Lupe nods. “I have hideous feet. Ugly feet run in my family. Even the men get pedicures or else people might burn us with fire.”

  I’m laughing behind my hand when Jenn bumps me.

  “Don’t worry about laughing in her face. Lupe is very laidback.”

  “No, I’m really not,” Lupe tells me. “They just want to see a girl fight. Last time we went shopping, Darby and Jenn got into a sighing competition. It’s always something with them. I’d avoid them if I wasn’t with Bull. Once you marry into the club, it’s expected that you’ll spend time with the other old ladies even if they’re awful.”

  Amanda laughs loudly. “Could be worse, Shay. We’re the fun old ladies. Try hanging out with Trigger and Big Dick’s wives.”

  Darby frowns. “We shouldn’t talk shit about Wanda after her boy just died. Even horrible bitches like her need our sympathy.”

  The women snicker, but I feel like they’re sharing in-jokes and I’m on the outside. Poor Bebe isn’t even in the same zip code.

  Her problem gets worse during the pedicure when she realizes her feet are sensitive and her technician isn’t. I struggle not to laugh when she gasps and grimaces, really playing up the pain.

  “I once had my P U S S Y waxed,” she says, shuddering, “And this hurts more.”

  The chick doing her nails refuses to pick up on the hints. I end up holding Bebe’s hand as she breathes through the pain. Finally, Jenn says something to her technician who tells the next technician. The daisy chain method eventually gets the message to the girl doing Bebe’s nails.

  “Why didn’t you say anything?” the girl demands.

  I laugh at Bebe’s expression as she apologizes to the girl torturing her feet. She looks at me and frowns.

  “Between working as a maid and being a mom, I got used to eating S H I T and can’t seem to stop. Suddenly telling people to stop being A S S H O L E S is above my pay grade. I don’t even flip off C R A P P Y drivers anymore.”

  Jenn snorts. “I flip off people who flip me off for being a shitty driver.”

  “She really is a shitty driver too,” Darby says.

  Jenn nods. “I really am.”

  Bebe and I laugh then she grimaces again. Leaning over, she whispers, “Don’t let me puss out and tip her, okay?”

  Giving her a wink, I look at my painted toes. Sparkling pink, they’ll look great in a pretty pair of heels. I already have the song picked out for my striptease. After a few days apart, I’ll look plenty sexy even without the roundest ass or perkiest tits.

  Once we all have painted nails, I discover the perfect heels. I don’t care if they’re over the top girly. Especially after weeks of wearing flannel and trucker hats. The heels fit great, making me feel like a goddess.

  38

  Ford

  Ginger Snaps

  Joker enters the kitchen without warning and we pull our guns on him. Grinning, he keeps walking. While Pax returns to watching a video on his phone, I join Joker at the freezer window.

  “Your woman is at the mall with my old old lady and my new old lady.”

  I don’t want another lecture, but Joker only gives me a smile.

  “They’re getting their nails done,” he says, smiling wider. “Probably talking about us.”

  “Can we focus on this?” I ask, gesturing into the freezer where Paro cries and Sandy hangs unconscious.

  “Did they give anyone up?”

  “Paro says it’s Sandy. Sandy says it’s Paro’s high school friend Ginger Snaps. We both know Ginger Snaps is dead, so it’s been a lot of talking in circles shit.”

  Joker frowns. “I saw Ginger Snaps after she pissed off Trigger. Saw both parts of her after the trucks tore her apart. No, it ain’t Ginger Snaps.”

  The former pimp, or madam as she preferred, died a few months before I got beat into the club. She must have been quite the badass to take on Trigger and end up dead in such an ugly way. I never heard the whole story and I didn’t ask. I’m not the curious sort.

  “Sandy said he never saw Ginger Snaps, but Paro mentioned her as the one putting together a group to push the club out of Little Memphis. I believe Sandy. I don’t believe Paro.”

  “Yeah, but Ginger Snaps is dea
d.”

  “Or maybe someone is dead, but it ain’t Ginger Snaps. Are you sure that dead chick was really Ginger Snaps?”

  “I only knew what Trigger told me, but he said it was Ginger Snaps. After the chick died, the trouble died down.”

  “What if,” Pax says behind us, “Ginger Snaps is code? She started the fight against Trigger and now people are picking up where she left off. She’s like a symbol or something.”

  “Paro went to school with her, but Sandy didn’t. He’s from Springdale and moved here last year. He wouldn’t know the old crew that followed Ginger Snaps.”

  “Paro is a pussy,” Joker says, looking into the freezer. “He should have given up his buddies by now.”

  “I don’t think he’s smart enough to know he’s dying today. He keeps changing his story. He’s mad then sad then wants to make a deal. The guy is stupid as shit, so I don’t know how much we’ll get out of him. Sandy is useless because he knows nothing beyond what he overheard from Paro. He didn’t kill Tiny and he doesn’t know who did.”

  Joker looks over the guys then shrugs. “Kill Sandy in front of Paro. Make it real for the little fucker then work your magic. If he doesn’t give up anyone soon, finish him. We need to dump them before the entire town is looking for them.”

  “If you give us more time, we can break him and find out who killed Tiny,” Pax says.

  “We don’t have time. The club wants someone to pay now. Trigger refuses to think Tiny’s murder is anything beyond petty shit on the west side.”

  “Trigger’s wrong,” I mutter. “His enemies know he’s weak and they killed Tiny to test his resolve. If we don’t get info from Paro and kill the people working with him, they’ll smell weakness. Then what? Who will they kill next time?”

  Joker looks at me and I see him thinking. “Trigger is the president and he says to dump the bodies tonight. That’s his law. If he’s wrong and someone else gets killed, let’s hope it’s him.”

  Walking out, Joker leaves us to finish up. I wait until we’re alone then look at Pax.

  “We could bail the club and Little Memphis,” I whisper.

  Pax shakes his head. “We have people here who can’t find their balls without a map. The club will fall apart, if left to guys like Sharpie. We don’t need them, but they sure as hell need us.”

  “I’m not looking to die for Trigger’s ego.”

  Pax turns down the freezer and opens the door. “Won’t come to that and you know it.”

  I glance back to where Joker disappeared and think about the shifting sands in Little Memphis. Trigger might not want to admit times are changing, but everyone else is already making their moves.

  39

  Shay

  Crawdad

  On the sleepy day of my period, I stumble downstairs for a cup of coffee. My mind sways between concern for Ford and my brothers. Since I can’t call the sexy beast, I decide I’ll check on Donnie and Devin once they’re home from school.

  When I shuffle into the kitchen, I’m already playing the conversation in my head. Completely unprepared to find Joker sitting at the table, the sight of him scares the crap out of me.

  He’s not as big as Ford or nearly as intimidating, but I don’t know Joker who’s watching me with a grin.

  “I was waiting for you,” he says and my stomach twists hard.

  My first thought is I’m in trouble. The second thought is about Ford.

  “Is he okay?” I ask, my eyes biting back tears.

  Joker laughs. “If he was a goner, I wouldn’t be the one to tell you, Shay,” he says gesturing for me to sit down. “Likely Darby would break the news.”

  Relieved about Ford, I’m now worried for myself. I haven’t done anything, but innocent people get screwed over all the time.

  I sit across from Joker, faking like I’m relaxed. He isn’t fooled.

  “You’re worried about Ford, huh?” he says then continues before I nod, “I like that. A man needs somewhere to put his heart. Contrary to what people say, the Reed brothers have hearts. All you have to do is watch them with their fucking dog to know that.”

  I smile slightly while Joker studies me. A lot of time passes and I get nervous again.

  “Did Ford ever tell you about the day he got the nod from the club?”

  I shake my head. “He doesn’t talk to me about his job.”

  “That’s probably smart, but you understand what he does for the club, don’t you?”

  “The basics, yeah.”

  “Back then, we had our meeting in a warehouse. This was before a junkie burned it down. So I brought them to get the nod from Trigger, figuring our president would approve. Ford and Pax are big, scary guys. They also have like two expressions, pissed and arrogant. The other guys weren’t impressed though.”

  Joker leans back in the chair and smiles. “There was a guy in the club at the time. Wonka’s dead now, but he was a big mouth fucker who loved razzing the younger guys. So he saw the sour puss brothers and started laughing. Then he announced their names would be something like Crawdad and Paxi-pad. The other guys didn’t even get a chance to laugh before Ford busted Wonka’s face open. One hit ripped open his upper lip and broke his nose. Blood everywhere. Just a damn mess. Ford didn’t even change his damn facial expression. In case you’re wondering, it was stuck on pissed. Pax might have switched to arrogant. I can’t remember.”

  I share Joker’s smile. “A lot of guys might have played nice in the middle of a room full of assholes on the same team. Ford and Pax wanted in the club, but on their terms. They would bleed and draw blood for us, but they weren’t our bitches. I always liked that about them. Sheep say the right things, but they’ll get you killed. The Reed boys are loyal, but they won’t follow stupid.”

  I look around the room then back at him. “Is there a reason you’re telling me this?”

  Joker grins. “Maybe. Or maybe I’m too old to get to the point.”

  “If you’re waiting for me to say you don’t look old, I’m not good with compliments.”

  Joker’s grin widens. “I want Ford happy. He fucked you three days in a row, so you must be special to him. When I asked about you, he looked like he might rip my face off. Yeah, that’s a real love match there.”

  Joker stands up and stretches. “You’ll stay in Little Memphis and make Ford happy. Does that sound like a plan?”

  “Are you saying I have no choice?”

  “No, I’m saying I have plans for the future and I want Ford happy. You make him happy, meaning your happiness becomes my problem. Anyone fucks with you, they fuck with me. Next time Creepy Spencer messes with you and he will, we don’t give him a thumbs up on living another day. Understand now?”

  Even wanting to tell him no, I keep my mouth shut. He’s handing me a gift here, but I worry what the price will be later. Ford’s taught me that nothing’s free in Little Memphis.

  40

  Ford

  Zombies and Pity Rides

  After watching too many zombie movies, dead bodies give me the creeps. I always think a guy will come back and bite off my face. Or in Pax’s case, his dick.

  I’m teasing him about this idea when we walk into Suede. The place is packed with club guys. Many of them have their side bitches with them. They smile at me and Pax like we got back from a vacation rather than killing two guys.

  Killing Paro and Sandy doesn’t mean shit to me. I feel no guilt for snuffing out their particular lives. Yet I’m always edgy after watching someone die. It bothers me how fucking easy it is to take a life. One day, my life will be just as easy for someone to end.

  In no mood to talk, we sit at a booth away from Joker, Sharpie, and Farmer.

  “You gonna pick up Shay?” Pax asks, sitting low in the booth and scanning the room.

  “No, I’ll see her in a day or two.”

  “Why?”

  I don’t know how to explain how I feel to Pax. He only cares about one person and I’m sitting right next to him. I don’t judge his jo
b. I never hate him for his choices.

  “Shay is soft,” I mutter. “I feel like I have all these sharp edges right now. I still smell death on my hands too.”

  “Don’t want to touch something beautiful when you’re feeling ugly, huh?”

  Happy to have Pax understand, I nod. He rarely gets shit when it comes to being soft. His life never offers him any tenderness, making it a foreign concept.

  We drink a bottle of whiskey, two shots at a time. Relaxing into the buzzed feeling, my mind returns to Shay. Even wishing to think of something else, I’m lost these days. She’s an addiction. I never had an addictive personality, but I can’t shake her. Don’t even know if I want to anymore.

  Pax shakes off his buzz and zeroes in on a girl at the end of the bar. She’s one of the dummies he often nails. I think he likes dumb girls because they laugh at his jokes.

  I switch from whiskey to a cup of coffee while watching a game on the TV behind the bar. The game is dull, leaving me edgy and in desperate need of a fuck. Going to Shay isn’t an option, so I plan to pick up a six pack and head home. Booze and Folgers can calm me until I’m ready to see my girl.

  Paying the tab, I start for the door when Maggie steps in front of me.

  “No,” I grunt.

  “Chill, baby,” she says, frowning. “I need a favor.”

  “No.”

  “It’s for Kiki. You know her, right?”

  I glance at the waitress hiding a black eye behind way too much makeup. When Kiki smiles at me, I shake my head.

  “What?” I say, jiggling my keys.

  “She ditched her loser boyfriend, but he’s always hanging around. You see what he did to her eye, right? Why not be a hero and take her home so he’ll back off. The guy is obsessed, but he’s super scared of you.”

  “Super scared, huh?”

  Maggie glares at me. “You’re always such an asshole.”