Whiskey Blues: A Second Chance Romance (Serrated Brotherhood MC Book 2) Page 2

  I’ve lived in the Lush Gardens Trailer Park for most of my life, and I’ve never considered moving somewhere else. No apartment on my budget would provide two decent-sized bedrooms.

  Lush Gardens is also where my family lives. Mom is a trailer down. My youngest sister, Harmony, and her son live next door. My other sister, Daisy, used to rent the trailer across from me.

  Restless after Bonn’s visit, I scrub the kitchen counter. I’m convinced if I can clean the grout to perfection that my edginess will fade away. I’m wrong, of course. A clean kitchen does nothing to alleviate the shock I feel since talking with him.

  I need to talk to someone, but Daisy is too over-the-moon in love to understand my unwillingness to dive head first into romance. My mother tends to think the impulsive answer is always the correct one. Harmony is my only hope for a decent pep talk. I text her at work to see if she’ll drop by my place once she’s home.

  In the living room, Elle keeps rearranging the flowers, wanting them perfect. I watch my daughter marvel at the mix of purple flowers. She fixes them, sits back to admire her work, and then plays with them again.

  “Why are you so excited?” I ask, hearing too much crankiness in my voice. “Your dad has given you flowers before.”

  “Yeah, but he never gave you any,” she says, without looking at me.

  I don’t answer. What’s there to say to a starry-eyed child? Elle loves her daddy, and he’s simply crazy about her. Admittedly, I’ve always been a little jealous over their relationship.

  My father never wanted me. When I was little, he humored me out of pity. Then once he got a chance to stop taking my calls, the man jumped at the chance. He had a family he loved, and I wasn’t part of it. I’d been the side effect of a marriage of convenience.

  Bonn isn’t like my father or many of the dads I’ve known. Whenever I see divorced or single dads with their kids on the weekends, they seem a bit off-kilter and spend a lot of time checking their phones. No doubt they love their kids but don’t know how to relate to them.

  Bonn doesn’t suffer from the part-time dad syndrome. He and Elle love spending every weekend together. They go to the movies, play games, and goof off. He’s the best damn dad he can be, which says a lot considering his father is an asshole who ignored him worse than mine did me.

  I rarely let myself imagine what life could have been like if Bonn hadn’t cheated with Kim Crawley at a house party. The fantasy is too powerful and breaks my heart each time the dream lingers in my mind. I’d loved him so much, and we made a beautiful child together. If he hadn’t cheated, we’d probably have another kid or two. We’d live in a house with a yard and maybe even have a dog.

  Elle is still arranging the flowers when Harmony knocks on my door. My blonde sister enters with her three-year-old son, Keanu, resting on her hip. Our gazes meet, and she knows I need to bitch privately.

  “Betty needs you,” Harmony tells Elle, mentioning our mother’s best friend. “She’s washing her dog, and you know how the bugger likes to run.”

  My girl smiles immediately and wiggles into her flip-flops. Harmony walks down a few trailers and drops off the kids with Betty. Returning alone, she switches on her phone to 1980s pop, knowing I need decent tunes to help with my moping.

  “What happened?” she asks, sitting on the couch and reaching for me.

  I cuddle under her embrace, soaking in her babying. “Bonn showed up with flowers and guilted me into going to a movie with him.”

  “Guilted you how?”

  “He asked in front of Elle, so if I say no, I’m the bad guy. Why in the heck should I always be the bad guy?”

  “Because he’s the part-time parent.”

  “Yeah, while I’m the one with homework duty and all the boring stuff,” I grumble.

  “Do you want to go to the movies with him?”

  “No.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I look up at Harmony’s pretty face and give her my ugliest scowl. “Why would I want to go to the movies with that cheating dickface asshole stank loser?”

  “Well, he’s a sexy, cheating, dog fucking, shit eating stank loser.”

  Grinning, I nuzzle my head against her shoulder. “That’s true, but he’s the scum of the earth. The worst of the worst.”

  “So very true.”

  “I hate him.”

  “I know.”

  “He broke my heart, and I hope his dick falls off.”

  “It no doubt will.”

  My thoughts return to the time I shaved Bonn after he’d gotten into a fight with some fool making eyes at me. Knuckles busted, he couldn’t clean himself up to go to church with his mom.

  Holding the razor, my fingers shook, and I feared I’d cut off his pretty face. He only laughed and teased me for being shallow. If I loved him, he said I should still love him even without a face. I laughed too until I cut his chin. Somehow, my mistake made us laugh harder. Like most young people in love, we were so fucking stupid.

  “I miss him,” I admit to Harmony. “Even after all these years, I can’t pretend he wasn’t the one.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m afraid to go to the movies and have him hurt me again.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m happy without him. If we spend time together, he’ll remind me of what I lost, and I won’t be happy. It’s like he wants to hurt me again.”

  “I know, but maybe he only wants to be friends with his baby mama.”

  Rolling my eyes, I hate that term. “I don’t want to be friends with Bonn.”

  “In high school, he was your best friend. Was all that just the sex?”

  “No,” I say, letting myself remember the sex for a second before squashing the memory.

  “Then why can’t you be friends now? No sex or romance. I’d want to be friends with someone who shared a kid with me and has an appreciation for 1980s classics.”

  “He does have good taste in music.”

  “And he loves Elle.”

  Sitting upright on the couch, I frown so much I hurt my face a little. “She’ll think we’re getting back together if I spend time with Bonn.”

  “Life is full of disappointments. Elle’s still a lucky frigging kid to have two parents who love her so much. We had to make due with one parent and her wacky friends.”

  I think of my mother, Sally, and her besties, Betty and Charlie. The women were tight in a way I never could be with anyone except my sisters.

  “I miss Daisy,” I mutter while rubbing my gut and wondering if I’ve gained weight. “I kinda hate Camden for taking her away.”

  “I totally hate him, but can you blame her for wanting his sexy loving? I mean, we’re great, but I don’t look nearly as good with my shirt off.”

  No doubt a lot of people would rejoice at the thought of my beautiful sister shirtless. Camden’s twin brother, Dayton, might even start a standing ovation at the sight.

  “If the movie with Bonn goes badly, will you join me for wallowing in self-pity ice cream?”

  “Even if it goes well, I’ll never say no to ice cream. In fact, I could go for some right now.”

  “Can you stay for dinner?” I ask, putting my diet ideas on the back burner.

  Harmony walks to the fridge where she rummages around for sweets. Finding nothing fattening, she frowns at me.

  “You make dinner, and I’ll get us decent dessert.”

  Knowing Harmony will be around to cheer me up tonight, I shrug off my bad mood. A movie with Bonn will only be as painful as I make it. He isn’t a bad man in most ways. Unfaithful, yes, but he won’t hurt me in an obvious way, and him fucking someone else is no longer my problem.

  Five - Bonn

  Ruby opens the trailer door wearing ragged beige jeans and a pale gray shirt. She thinks this outfit will turn me off and show her indifference.

  Too bad for her that even in a gunny sack, she’s a vision of beauty. I reach out and caress a lock of her straight, dark hair hanging from a messy ponytail. R
uby doesn’t pull away, instead staring blankly at me. She’s gung-ho about proving her indifference.

  “I brought new flowers,” I say, lifting them for her to see.

  “I don’t need more flowers.”

  “You can never have enough beauty in your life.”

  Ruby takes the mixed bouquet and smells the flowers. “That’s true, but I’d hate for you to spend all your stripper tips on me.”

  Her dig hits me in the gut just like she hopes. Ruby knows I want to keep my stripper job a secret. Unfortunately, a bitch from high school hired me for her bachelorette party and invited Ruby. No one in Hickory Creek Township can mind their own damn business.

  “I work hard for those tips, so I’ll decide how I spend them,” I mutter, frustrated by how Ruby won’t give an inch.

  Her lips twitching, Ruby wants to smile at my irritation. I study her full mouth, remembering the way it felt against mine. Ruby was a great kisser. Even only kissing two other girls - and one of them was sloppy drunk - I still knew Ruby possessed a natural talent. When her lips were on mine, I became her slave.

  No longer irritated, I smile at the thought of kissing Ruby again. Her dark eyes lose their amusement as she notices my change in demeanor.

  “Why are you doing this?” she asks in a low, frustrated voice.

  Before I answer, Chevelle appears from behind her mother. My little girl smiles in a way that makes me feel like a million bucks. Though fatherhood scared the hell out of me when I found out Ruby was pregnant, Chevelle made the job easy.

  “Are you two ladies ready to go?”

  While Chevelle quickly nods, Ruby only stares at me, likely wanting to know why I’m pushing her now. Knowing nothing I say will soothe her anger, I take our daughter’s hand and walk to my SUV.

  In the back seat, Chevelle’s smile remains plastered on her lovely little face. A scowling Ruby sits next to her, though I spot her smile when Billy Idol plays on the radio.

  We both had a thing for 1980s music. In high school when everyone was listening to the current fad, our tastes tilted on an awkward era of big hair and synthesizers. I still think we were the coolest kids at Hickory Creek Township High School.

  Tonight, when our gazes meet in the rearview, Ruby shoots me a dirty look. She’s pissed, and I’m unsure how to soothe her anger. We rarely fought back when she was mine. Our relationship was so easy-going that people often mocked our happiness.

  The theater isn’t busy on the weekday evening. Chevelle doesn’t like crowds and is easily intimidated by rude people. I don’t know how she survives life in the Lush Gardens Trailer Park, though no doubt having so many ballsy women around keeps her safe.

  Once I pay for the tickets, we stand in a small line at the concession stand. My gaze notices how her ragged jeans do nothing to hide her curvy butt and hips. I study her figure, spotting a bit of her white bra where her shirt collar falls to the side.

  With only my hand as company for so many years, I don’t need much stimuli from this particular woman to make me wish I’d worn a different pair of jeans.

  Getting dressed earlier, I thought I was fucking brilliant to choose pants that hugged my ass. Ruby once said she could play the bongos on my butt, and I wanted to remind her of what she was missing.

  Except now my jeans are way too damn tight for the boner I’m sporting. Making matters worse, Ruby reaches up to fix her hair, and I notice the flesh between her shirt and pants. Now I’m wondering if I can jack off in the bathroom without alerting the entire theater.

  Chevelle takes my hand as we wait in line for snacks. Her childlike glee puts a cold rag on my hot dick. I regain control of myself just in time to see Ruby’s side glance straight out of a men’s magazine. Her dark eyes shimmer, and her frowning lips are never more kissable.

  This woman’s got me so wound up that I’m relieved Chevelle is around to play cock blocker. Without her, I’d hump Ruby’s leg soon.

  Six - Ruby

  Once the movie starts, Elle loses interest in everything except what’s happening on-screen. Bonn is the complete opposite. As soon as the trailers are over and his daughter’s attention is elsewhere, he focuses solely on me.

  I force my gaze to remain on the screen and ignore his attention. Bonn’s hickory-colored eyes once hypnotized me, drawing me to him. We were obnoxiously in love once, and I fear believing we can be that way again.

  Unable to stop myself, I peek at Bonn to see if he’s still watching me. When I find him staring, I wind up my courage and glare hard. I want him to feel awkward about his behavior or bothered by my anger. Instead, the jackass smiles at me.

  Worse still, I return his smile without thinking. Bonn’s hypnotic eyes con me again. Even after I look away, I remain under his spell.

  The movie drags on while I stare at the head of the lady sitting in front of me. I can’t even look at Elle without worrying I’ll catch Bonn’s gaze.

  Halfway through the movie, I swear Bonn moves closer. Even with our daughter playing buffer, I’m aware of his every movement for the next hour.

  All smiles by the credits, Elle turns to me and asks if I liked the movie. I nod even though I can’t tell her a single thing that happened. My baby beams at Bonn and asks if he liked the movie too.

  He nods too but doesn’t give details about the plot. I nearly smile at the thought of him feeling half as lost as I do. Aren’t we foolish to long for each other after so many years? Life never offers second chances to people like us. We had our shot and failed.

  Sufficiently irritated again, I’m ready for our pizza dinner. No more longing glances or wistful memories.

  When we enter the restaurant, I am ready to show Bonn where I stand with his sudden interest. Then I catch a glimpse of us in a nearby mirror and my sense of righteousness deflates. The sight of the family we could have been guts me.

  “What’s wrong, Mom?” Elle asks.

  “Nothing,” I lie, still sulking while staring at the menu.

  I can’t let go of the image of what Bonn, Elle, and I could have been if he hadn’t screwed up. Would we have had another kid by now? Where would we live? I know now that he only affords his apartment because of the stripping money. If we were together, he’d never even consider the job. Would we be cozy in a trailer at Lush Gardens?

  “Ruby,” Bonn says, startling me from my thoughts. “Ready to order?”

  Elle frowns at me, probably worried I’ll ruin her good time. She’s always wanted us to spend time together. I know she’s heard stories about Bonn and me from high school. In her innocent mind, she thinks we should be a fairytale with everyone living happily ever after. Doesn’t love conquer all including a hero who can’t keep his dick in check?

  I order a slice of pizza and try to focus on Elle. She’s a huge fan of Dolly Parton’s music and wants to write a school report on her, but the teacher said she couldn’t. Elle doesn’t understand why Dolly can’t be her hero. I don’t have the heart to tell her it’s because the teacher wants her to pick someone more fitting of one of the few multiracial girls in school.

  “How about Charley Pride?” Bonn suggests, having figured out what I did. “I think the teacher wants you to have a hero who’s a person of color.”

  “Why?”

  “Because your teacher is from a small town and thinks that’s how life works,” I mutter, pulling off the pepperoni and making a cheese pizza.

  Elle frowns at me and then Bonn. “I don’t get it.”

  “Charley Pride sang at the Grand Ole Opry,” Bonn offers.

  “But I want to do Dolly Parton.”

  “School is about conforming,” Bonn explains without skipping a beat. “When you're older, you can write about anyone you want. While you’re in school, you do what the grownups say. I had to do that and Mom had to do that. Now we’re grown up and can do whatever we want.”

  “I want to be grown up,” Elle says, giving a dramatic sigh.

  “Being an adult is pretty boring,” I tell her.

  Elle l
ooks at Bonn and then at me. Nodding simultaneously, we confirm the boring adulthood idea. Torn between doing what she wants and having fun, Elle sighs again.

  “Can I see your phone?” she asks me.

  Once I hand it to her, she searches for information on Charley Pride. Whatever she finds soothes her bad mood.

  “He played baseball,” Elle says, already wanting to write her paper.

  I study Bonn, impressed by his ability to make Elle feel better. Even knowing he’s a great dad, I’ve rarely watched him with her. For whatever reason, I’m in a worse mood after witnessing his skills. I’m probably jealous his logic soothes her in a way mine didn’t.

  Or maybe a tiny part of me misses how Bonn soothed me back when we were at our best.

  Seven - Bonn

  After we return to Lush Gardens, Chevelle’s long curls flutter in the wind around her head. Ruby is forced to stand in front of her to block the harsh breeze. Laughing at how she can’t see, Chevelle eventually digs her way out of her wild hair.

  “I wish I had curls,” Ruby says, smoothing aside our daughter's hair until we can find her face again.

  “It’s getting cold,” Chevelle tells me. “Do you want to come inside?”

  Even without looking at Ruby, I know she hates the suggestion. I’d love to spend more time with my two favorite girls but decide to think long term.

  “Not tonight,” I say, though the words burn in my throat.

  Chevelle studies us, considering whether to make an issue for my answer. She’s desperate for us to be together, and my recent behavior has given ammunition to her dreams.

  “Can we go to dinner again?” Chevelle asks Ruby.

  “We’ll see.” Chevelle stares at Ruby with her big brown eyes until her mother relents. “Fine, maybe next week. Now go inside and get warmed up. I need to talk to your dad.”

  After giving me a tight hug, Chevelle heads into the trailer where she turns on the TV and calls Harmony. I hear her on the phone and smile.

  “She sounds like a teenager sometimes.”