Damaged and the Knight Read online

  Judd gave me a half smile and nodded. “If my lack of manners is all it takes to get you bawling, you’re never going to shut up. Might have to drug you for the flight.”

  “I’m not flying.”

  “I’m not driving you. It’ll take days.”

  “Farah won’t let you make me fly.”

  “Farah isn’t my boss.”

  Judd said the words, but I knew he was thinking about how his boss paid money to make Farah happy. That happiness meant we weren’t flying. He didn’t admit this fact, but I saw it on his face.

  When our food arrived, I was careful to eat slowly. No matter how much Cooper paid Judd, I didn’t doubt he’d yell at me if I puked in his car. The entire meal was silent and Judd didn’t even look at me. He stared at his food or at loud people. He also kept an eye out for trouble. I saw the way his jaw tensed when he viewed someone as a possible threat.

  Even eating slowly and leaving behind food when my stomach cramped, I felt sick as we headed to Wal-Mart. Judd decided I needed clean clothes because mine were dirty and he didn’t want to waste time washing them.

  Shopping with Judd wasn’t fun. He acted like I was an inconvenience and scared all of the clerks with his cold glare. He was like a less charming version of my dad. The only upside was Judd didn’t expect me to shoplift.

  Looking over the clothes, I wasn’t sure what to buy because I hadn’t gone shopping at a real store in years. We usually went to Goodwill and mostly stole what we could. Now, I had the instructions of “buy something fast, kid” to guide me.

  After checking a rack with cute sweatpants, I returned a pink pair.

  “What was wrong with those?” Judd muttered, crossing his arms.

  “They’re seventeen dollars.”

  A frowning Judd blinked and his expression eased. Sighing, he stepped closer. “Kid, I don’t give a shit. It’s fucking Wal-Mart. Whatever they sell in here ain’t bankrupting me. Just pick some fucking clothes, so we can go.”

  “You like to say fucking a lot, don’t you?” I muttered while adding the sweatpants to the cart.

  “It’s like verbal salt. I enjoy sprinkling it on everything.”

  Smiling at him, I grabbed a few more sweatpants then added two pairs of jeans. While I waited for Judd to bitch about how much I was taking, the idea of new clothes was too much to pass up and I kept adding things.

  Judd didn’t seem to care about anything as he followed me around. He grunted an order to get a new toothbrush and beauty crap. The only other time he showed interest was when I was picking out panties and he told me to get the other kind. Apparently, he wasn’t a fan of plain white underwear. Following his suggestion, I picked the package full of polka dotted pink panties.

  Before we finished shopping, I stopped for my second bathroom break. My stomach wanting to get rid of the food from earlier, I sat with my head between my legs and breathed slowly until the nausea passed. When I returned to where Judd waited, I couldn’t help grinning.

  He looked so wrong sitting on the little bench next to an old lady. Judd and the woman were both messing with their phones. I nearly laughed at the sight of them, but felt too sick to let out a good chuckle.

  “You look like shit,” he said, standing up. “Did you puke?”

  “No.”

  “Do you feel like you might?”

  “Yes.”

  “Cork it. I’m not interested in holding your hair. Let’s finish up.”

  Nodding, I followed him as he shoved the cart towards the front of the store. Once in line, I tried to steady myself, but I felt so dizzy. Judd finally had me hold onto the cart while he dumped things onto the conveyer belt.

  “Can I have bubble gum?” I mumbled, staring at the choices.

  “Shit. Just grab something, so we can go.”

  Without looking at him, I grabbed two packages and added them to the rest of the stuff. As soon as we were in the car, I opened one packet and popped a piece of gum into my mouth. Judd frowned at me then drove us to a nice hotel. It was so nice that a man brought our bags to the suite.

  Judd dumped the bags of clothes on the bed before returning to the sitting room where the bigger TV was located. Turning on the flat screen, he glanced at me.

  “Take a shower, put on new clothes, call your sister, go to sleep. Understand?”

  I did as I was told because Judd wasn’t the kind of man to disobey. He was a million times scarier than Dad and my jaw still hurt from when my dad last felt I disobeyed him.

  After scrubbing myself clean, I dressed in the two piece pajamas Judd bought. I returned to the sitting area to find him waiting.

  “I’ll dial your sister, you’ll talk to her, say happy shit, then tell her we’ll fly in tomorrow. Do you understand?” he asked as his cold eyes dared me to push the flying issue.

  “Yes.”

  Judd handed me his phone then pressed a button. “I’ll wait on the balcony.”

  Still dizzy, I sat down and watched Judd walk outside. He looked underdressed for the fancy room we were in, yet I suspected he didn’t give a shit. Judd had a way of seeming like he never gave a shit.

  Once the phone clicked and I heard Farah’s voice, I breathed easier. Even with so much distance between us and my fatigue, I felt like she was just an arm’s reach away.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “Yes. I feel a little sick from not eating and I haven’t slept well, but I’m safe.”

  “Did you have any issues? Cooper made it sound like those guys were around, but he didn’t really tell me much.”

  “They tried to grab me, but Judd handled them.”

  “So he’s taking care of you.”

  Studying Judd out on the balcony, I said nothing and the silence was long and loud.

  “He isn’t hurting you, is he?” Farah whispered.

  “No,” I said quickly. “He’s just a jerk. Rough, I guess. He saved me and got me new clothes and fed me. He’s taking care of me, but not in a nice way. I know it’s not his job to be nice.”

  “You don’t want to fly, do you?”

  “Judd says we have to, but I’m scared and he makes me nervous.”

  “Then, you can drive. It’ll only be a few days. Barely that.”

  “He said we have to fly.”

  Farah heard my meaning and sighed. “I’ll pull rank.”

  Grinning, I imagined hugging Farah and being safe. “Cooper loves you.”

  “Hell yeah, he does.”

  We laughed. “Is he mad that I’m coming?”

  “Of course not. He’s even got your rooms ready. Well, kinda ready. You can fix them up when you get here.”

  The whole rooms plural thing made no sense to me, but I grunted an affirmation. “I miss you.”

  “You’ll be safe here and we’ll be together.”

  “What about Cooper?”

  “It’s going to be okay, Tawny. When it comes to me, Cooper understands everything. He knows I need you.”

  “Okay.”

  “Don’t be scared of that guy. He’s doing a job. Maybe he’s scary, but Cooper didn’t send him because he was the nicest guy he could find. He sent him to make sure no one interfered. Coop promised me you would get here safe and he keeps his promises.”

  “Because he loves you.”

  “Yes,” Farah said and I heard the emotion in her voice. “It’s so good here, but I need you to make it perfect.”

  “Soon.”

  “Soon,” she said.

  Once we hung up, I walked to the balcony where Judd still stood. He glanced back at me and frowned.

  “Chicks and tears. It’s like a given.”

  “I miss my sister.”

  Judd nodded and looked back at the view. “I know.”

  “She says we’re not flying.”

  Cocking an eyebrow, he smirked. “Did she?” Nodding, I stepped towards the edge and looked down. “You’re not scared of heights, are you?”

  “No, I like being up high. It makes me feel sp
ecial. Rich people live up high.”

  Judd said nothing, his normally cold gaze a bit warmer. “You look like shit. I checked the room service menu and they have soup here. I wouldn’t suggest you eat too much. Just the broth then crash since I don’t need you carsick tomorrow.”

  When I just stared at him, Judd rolled his eyes and stared at the view.

  “How do I order the soup?” I finally asked.

  Judd looked ready to say something nasty, but stopped himself and returned to the room to order. As I sat on the little loveseat and stared at the dark television, he watched me like he was trying to figure out how to fit the chunks of my body into a suitcase. When I finally met his gaze and dared him to chop me up, Judd grinned.

  “You look funny when you give that look. Like you’re thinking real hard,” he said, flopping into a chair with the remote. “Don’t hurt yourself, kid.”

  “Do you live in Ellsberg?” I asked as he flipped from channel to channel too quickly to really be looking for anything to watch.

  “Yes.”

  “Did you grow up there?”

  “No.”

  “Do you like it there?”

  “Sure.”

  “Do you think I’ll like it there?”

  “Your sister is shacked up with the prince of the fucking place. I’m sure you’ll live a pretty sweet life in Ellsberg.”

  “Are the people nice there?”

  “Not really. Maybe two percent of the people are nice.”

  “So the other ninety eight percent are like you?”

  Judd grinned. “Sounds about right. You should fit in.”

  “How am I not nice?”

  “You got a look about you. Like the little girl act is a con and you’ll shiv me while I sleep.”

  “It’s getting late, so I guess we’ll see.”

  Smiling growing, he watched the TV, instead of me. “I’m sleeping in here next to my weapons and keeping one eye open. You best mess someone else, little girl.”

  “I’m not feeling great, so I’ll probably wait to shiv you until I’m up to all the laughing and pointing I’ll want to do after I get the drop on you.”

  Judd laughed. “You would mock me afterwards, wouldn’t you?”

  “Of course. You’re a big guy. Fast and strong too. If I take you down, I’m totally enjoying the triumph.”

  “Good for you,” he said quietly, a smile on his lips and a strange look in his eyes.

  Even feeling awkward under his gaze, I didn’t look away. Judd was handsome and I wanted to feel safe with him. Until I was back with Farah, I craved a few moments of safety. Mostly, I feared what I would find in Ellsberg. Now that Farah was safe with Cooper, would she slowly stop loving me now that she found someone better?

  “Soup’s here,” Judd finally said after we watched each other for a few minutes.

  As I sipped the broth, Judd pretended to ignore me. I knew he wasn’t really watching television. His face was too perfectly stoic like he was working hard to make himself seem cold.

  “Do you want the rest?” I asked.

  Judd frowned at me. “If I wanted soup, I’d have ordered myself some. I’m not a dog begging for scraps.”

  Scowling at his ridiculous anger, I shrugged. “I don’t want to waste the rest. Can we put it in the mini frig and I’ll eat it in the morning?”

  Judd’s frown eased. “Fuck it. I’ll eat it.”

  “No, it’s mine,” I said, standing up. “I offered and you got grumpy. Now, you can’t have it.”

  “I’ll just eat it after you go to sleep.”

  “I respect your honesty,” I said, setting the bowl into the little frig next to the expensive treats. “It’s a rare quality in a thief.”

  Judd grinned. “Don’t lock the bedroom door. If we have trouble, I don’t want to have to kick that shit down.”

  When I stared at him, he stared back. We were both thinking how with it unlocked he could whatever he wanted. Before I might be bothered, I remembered that with his size, strength, and weapons he could do whatever he wanted anyway. Of course, he’d have to deal with Cooper. Either way, I was going to bed and leaving the door unlocked like instructed.

  In the dream, I was back at the motel, starving and trapped. The weirdoes had broken through the door and were coming for me. I was trapped in that room and no one was coming to save me. Judd had been a dream and I would die violently just as I always feared.

  Even after I knew it was only a dream and Judd had saved me, the weirdoes kept punching me and the blows felt achingly real. By the time I woke up, I was sweaty and in a panic.

  Grabbing a blanket, I ran to the living room to see if Judd was real. I found him asleep in a chair with his feet propped up on a table. The TV was still on and it threw off weird lights in the dark room. Watching Judd, I tried to calm myself, but I felt hands on me, tearing away my clothes. It wasn’t real, but Judd didn’t feel real either.

  Whimpering behind my hand, I was still too loud and his eyes opened as if he hadn’t been asleep at all. Judd stared at me for a moment then whispered, “Angel.”

  Another minute passed as I tried to quiet myself and he stared like I was a ghost. Once he sat up, his frown looked more like the one I’d seen the day before.

  “What?”

  Unable to explain my fear to a man like Judd, I knew he wouldn’t understand or care about a bad dream.

  Judd stood up and switched off the television. Taking me by the back of the neck, he maneuvered me to the bedroom.

  “Get in.”

  Unwrapping the blanket from around me, I climbed into bed and wondered what would happen next? While Judd had saved me, he looked intimidating in the darkened room. He set a gun on the dresser then pulled off his shirt and jeans. This was the moment when I panicked enough for my breath to catch in my throat.

  “Let’s say,” Judd whispered, “that some fuck was to show up here and cause trouble. Let’s say the piece of shit that put those bruises on your face shows up here, do you know what would happen?”

  As I shook my head, Judd laid over the covers I rested under.

  “I would shoot the fucker. No warning shot. No flesh wound. One shot and it would be over. Do you understand?”

  Nodding, I watched as he stretched out on the other side of the bed.

  “We’re not fucking, kid. I just want some sleep and you got yourself all worked up over a bad dream. This way, you’ll quiet down and I’ll get rest. We both win and nothing more is going to happen,” he said, closing his eyes.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, lying down too.

  “With that said, you’d be smart to keep on your side of the bed. If you start fondling me in the dark, I might forget where I am and who I’m with and I won’t stop. Get it?”

  Staring at him, I sighed. “I shared a bed with my sister for years and never fondled her. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

  Judd smiled in the dark. “Good to hear. Now, go to sleep.”

  Maybe ten minutes passed before I suspected Judd was asleep. I heard the way his breathing softened and slowed. Yet, even with the gun nearby and a big scary guy to protect me, I was afraid.

  My mind returned to the sound of Tommy’s face slamming into the car. How his blood splattered across the windshield and he flopped to the ground like a ragdoll. Once I remembered the way Judd intimidated those perverts, I fell asleep smiling.

  Chapter Three

  The first time I woke up, a sleeping Judd had his back to me. I stared at the tanned muscles before focusing on a large pirate ship tattoo. The design was so detailed I felt like a real man stared back at me from the deck. My fingers went to trace the lines until I remembered what Judd said about fondling him. Pulling my hand back, I stared at the tattoo until dozing off again.

  The second time I woke up, the room was brighter and Judd was facing me. With an arm propped under his chin, he studied my face for nearly a minute after I opened my eyes. He didn’t seem to notice I was awake, but it was probably that he didn’t
care. His strong fingers reached out and brushed hair away from my face. Trying not to shiver from his touch, I failed.

  Judd showed no reaction to my reaction. He just watched me for another moment or two then pulled his hand away and sat up.

  “It’s after nine,” he announced. “You need to get cleaned up, so we can grab breakfast downstairs before they stop serving it at ten. I want to get on the road soon, since your sister pulled rank and we’re driving.”

  Sitting up, I watched him pull his tee over his head. There was something entirely too tempting about his strong shoulders down to his lean waist. Overwhelmed with lust, I was afraid to make eye contact with Judd. Yet, he knew what I was thinking. When I finally looked at Judd, I found him smirking.

  “Never going to happen,” he said, walking out of the room.

  Judd sounded as if he meant the words, but his hungry expression earlier made me think he wasn’t convinced.

  Soon, I was showered, dressed, packed, and we were headed downstairs for the hotel’s continental breakfast. I’d never stayed in a hotel that served breakfast and it was better than I expected. I bagged up extras because Judd muttered something about having me pee in a bottle, so we could drive the whole day.

  Once in the SUV, Judd turned on a CD and ignored me for the first hour. Using his phone, I texted Farah. When I asked about our mother, Farah only said she was gone. Long after I set the phone aside, I thought about what “gone” meant.

  Amy Jones Smith was a lifelong loser. Con woman, addict, coward, she was our mother though. Farah likely wanted something from Amy when she moved in with her in Ellsberg. My sister always dreamed of a normal family and life. I suspected she hoped Amy was sober enough to be a different person. Instead, our mother stole Farah’s nest egg, much like she stole our innocence when she left us with those bikers.

  Since the silence bored me and I didn’t like the music we were listening to, I decided to talk until he told me to shut up.

  “My mom might be dead,” I said, staring out the window. “Or she might just be hiding.”

  “Do you care which way it turns out?” When I shook my head, Judd nodded. “My dad disappeared years ago. Some people say he’s living in Mexico. Most think he’s dead. I prefer the last one. No harm in hoping for the death of people who have it coming.”