Moth To A Flame (Reapers MC: Pema Chapter Book 2) Page 4

  “Yeah, what’s the deal there? Was she always terrible?”

  “Yes, yes, she was, but he couldn’t see it. You know why?”

  “Her big tits and tight ass?”

  “Well, sure, that was probably it for the first few years, but they were together for ten. Off and on, of course. People like that break up a lot.”

  “So, if it wasn’t her body, why did he stick around? Jett only came along four years ago.”

  “Like a lot of men, Kiefer has mommy issues,” Heidi says, running her fingers through her shiny brown hair. “I suspect he confused Kambree’s bitchiness with strength. His mom is a pushover and has no fight in her. His sister is the same kind of weak woman. And he fucking adores their loser asses. Except deep inside, he knows they suck. So he craves a strong woman, but he just ended up with a bitch. To be fair, though, he’s only lived around here, and it’s not like he has a huge supply of options. In Pema, people end up with what they can find.”

  “Isn’t that what you did?”

  Heidi revs into bitch mode immediately. “Jox is a hot biker who kicks ass but knows to shut up when I speak. How the hell did I settle, huh, twat?”

  Grinning at the way she spits out the last word, I try not to laugh. “I just love when you get protective of your dumb husband.”

  “Well, people used to make fun of Tucker Johansson for being a fucking moron, and Maddy would just shrug. His woman didn’t mind their razzing. Of course, she’s a sweet lady. No one’s ever claimed the same about me.”

  “Which is why I’m asking you this rather than Vi or some chick who’d tell me the cleaned-up version. I’m looking for honesty, and you only lie for a good reason.”

  Heidi accepts my compliment, wearing a little smile at having someone appreciate her tough cookie routine.

  “Do you think Kiefer is a good father?” I ask, and her smile freezes.

  “He’s okay, but I wouldn’t describe him as good,” she says and then sighs while fixing the wrinkles on her skirt. “He didn’t want their kid. Handsome Sam said Kiefer wasn’t suited for a gentle relationship despite his soft mama. He only had Jett because she got pregnant and wouldn’t get an abortion. Then, he expected her to take care of their kid.”

  Heidi rolls her eyes as if mentally bitching at herself. “Look, he isn’t necessarily a bad father. Like he doesn’t blow all their money on booze and bitches. He took care of Jett financially, but the day-to-day care was Kambree.”

  “Do you think Kiefer would hurt Jett?” I ask, holding her gaze and daring her to lie to me.

  “Like physically?” Heidi asks, and I nod. “No, he wouldn’t hit him. Kiefer has a temper, and he loses it easily at the clubhouse. He and a few other guys are always fucking with each other. Not in a fun way, either. A year ago, they broke a couple of Kiefer’s ribs, and he fucked up one guy’s knee and another guy’s shoulder. I tell them to knock it off and preach club unity or whatever, but they can’t stop fighting. These days, though, they behave when Colton or Maverick are around. Anyway, I know Kiefer never hit Kambree, and they fought like coked-up ferrets.”

  “How can you know, though?”

  “After she left, Vi and I talked to her. You know, we did the good cop, bad cop thing to see why she ditched her kid. Kambree looked me right in the eyes and said Kiefer beat her. But she’s a terrible liar. When I didn’t believe her, she told a story that was so full of shit that I knew for a fact she was lying. Besides, if she thought he was a violent monster, why the fuck did she leave their kid with him? Kiefer repeatedly asked her to take Jett. We all did, but she refused. She claimed her new life was about fixing her past mistakes.”

  “What a cunt.”

  “Yeah, and I told Kiefer straight off how I didn’t think Jett was safe in Idyllwild. Those people are cold-as-fuck. They view that sweet boy as an anchor dragging Kambree to hell. So, no, I don’t think Kiefer hit Kambree, and I don’t believe he physically hurts Jett.”

  “You keep emphasizing ‘physically.’ Do you think he’s doing something else?”

  Heidi sighs and messes with her skirt again. “You have to understand that Kiefer works a lot. I mean, a fucking lot. He takes every job or assignment that comes up. I used to think it was because he wanted away from Kambree, but he’s also supporting his mom, sister, and nephews. For the most part, he’s never around Jett. The kid is always with one sitter or another.”

  Heidi glances back at where her kids are laughing at something Jox does. Then, she gives me a truly worried expression.

  “But when he is around Jett, I don’t think he’s sweet to the boy. I’m sure he resents taking care of a child he didn’t want, and Jett does look a lot like Kambree. Kiefer has a right to be angry, but he isn’t tender with his child. He just moves Jett from one place to another. I doubt he’s given his son a bath in a year. Jett is essentially raised by various old ladies.”

  Getting a little emotional, Heidi exhales hard. “And when I see Kiefer with Jett at club functions where he can’t ditch the boy on the old ladies, they both seem miserable. I genuinely believe he doesn’t like Jett, and I suspect the kid is getting old enough to notice.”

  I don’t know what my face is doing, but Heidi hardens her expression. “Look, don’t take your shit out on Kiefer.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Your baby daddy ditched you and ran off to party. Now, you think Kiefer is the same way, but that’s wrong. He just doesn’t know how to take care of a kid. Kambree monopolized Jett when she was around, never let anyone babysit him because we were scummy. Big talk coming from that twat. She didn’t want Kiefer to help, and he didn’t want to learn. Then, she was gone, and he didn’t know anything about his own kid. Should he ask someone for help? Yeah, but Kiefer has daddy issues, too. Like his father bailed and pissed away all their money when he was around. Kiefer probably thinks he does a good job since his boy has toys and clean clothes and shit.”

  “Why don’t the old ladies step in?”

  “And do what?”

  “Teach him to be a better father.”

  “I think they’re intimidated by him,” she says and shrugs. “He’s got that temper, and they figure he’ll lash out at them. But again, he keeps his fighting to men who throw the first punch. But the old ladies are scared anyway, and their men are like, ‘Babe, just let it be.’ Those guys are fucking bitches. Well, not Handsome Sam. He does help Kiefer think straight, but he’s been in prison for a while. Not much he can do from behind bars.”

  “Why do you use his road name, Handsome Sam, but you refer to the other men by their legal names?”

  “Because Sam is just that handsome,” Heidi says and winks. “He’s got an easy charm about him, too. Like, am I going to call Kiefer ‘Brick,’ which just makes me think of him breaking shit? No, but Sam has earned his road name.”

  “Why didn’t you hook up with him?”

  “Because I fell in love with Jox, you rancid snatch,” she growls, wearing a sneer.

  “Why exactly?”

  “For the same reason you’re horny for Kiefer. Shit clicks between certain people. Hell, you should know that better than anyone.”

  “Why exactly?”

  “You and your sister are the same person, and you hooked up with two copies of the same man, but she kept her guy, and yours bailed.”

  I know Heidi is screwing with me with her “same person” crap. After all, if Savvy was sitting here, they’d be having a “who’s hotter” contest. With me, she figures she won as soon as I showed up in sweats.

  “I watched Jett today, and he’s a good kid.”

  “I know you did, and, yes, he is a sweet child.”

  “You knew how?”

  “I know everything that happens with my people,” Heidi says, smirking. “I often know women are pregnant before their husbands do. Not because the old ladies share shit, but I have spies. Like when Kambree bought pregnancy tests at the pharmacy. I knew before she got the positive results and months before Kiefer f
ound out.”

  “That’s a bitch move.”

  “Not really. In fact, I think you’re stupid, Avery,” Heidi says, frowning. “No offense, but you think like a child. I mean, these are grown-ass people. Men and women who fuck, fight, cheat, fight some more, and then hook right back up. Do you think Cooper involves himself in the soap opera bullshit in his men’s lives? Of fucking course not. But I have a pussy, so I’m supposed to hold everyone’s hands and wipe their tears. Fuck that shit.”

  “I won’t argue the point since I wouldn’t want to be in charge of their drama, either. However, I feel like someone should help Kiefer be a better father.”

  “By someone, do you mean you? Because there’s no way you came here expecting me to do it.”

  “Well, Jox is a good dad, and he’s Kiefer’s club brother. Why can’t he give him advice?”

  Heidi glances back down the hallway to where her family got very quiet. Sighing, she shakes her head.

  “Kiefer will say something stupid, and Jox will reply in kind. They’ll end up wrestling, and I’m not looking for my man to get busted up over your dumbass idea. You can teach Kiefer to be a good dad. Use your pussy as part of a reward system.”

  “Is that how you taught Jox to be a good dad?”

  “No, I got lucky,” she says, standing up and no doubt wondering why everyone is so quiet. “He just likes his babies.”

  We walk to the front of the house, where Jox has stopped playing his game and is now cuddled with Onyx while listening to Axe read.

  Smiling at the sweet sight, I nudge Heidi. “I see it,” I whisper. “He’s more than pretty.”

  Grinning proudly, Heidi admires her beautiful family. Rather than cramp their evening routine, I leave the house after telling Heidi I’ll deal with Kiefer. She nods knowingly, assuming I’ll take her advice and use my pussy as a carrot. Of course, she’d be wrong.

  No way am I fucking a guy still stuck on his ex. If I just wanted a cock inside me, I might be willing to ride him without strings. Yet, when we were sitting in church, and I said something smartass, he’d react as if I was the sexiest bitch ever. Kiefer might hold the potential for more in my future. Easy fucking now could put the brakes on something long term.

  Indeed, I have a three-step plan for Kiefer Northam. First, I’ll teach him to be a better daddy. Second, he’ll ditch his feelings for his bitch ex. Third, I’ll ride him into the sunset.

  THE ROUGHNECK

  After his bath, Jett and I spend the few hours before bed doing our usual routine. He plays in his room while I watch a movie. Yet, I feel like something’s different now. Probably us both thinking of Avery. When I put him to bed, I ask about his day.

  “Did you have fun at the hotel?”

  Nodding, Jett gets a goofy smile. “I played and danced. I slept good in the bed.”

  “Was Avery nice to you?”

  “She’s silly.”

  His grin makes me think of Kambree. Jett looks so much like her. Especially how he pouts his lips when he gets sleepy and starts dozing off. I dim his light and leave the room.

  All night, Avery remains on my mind. I even dream of her. I wake up with a morning boner, leading to an angry masturbation session.

  I hate how I can’t have Avery. She teases and tempts me, but she’ll always be out of reach. Even if I get her in my bed, I won’t be able to keep her. If I couldn’t satisfy a shitty cunt like Kambree, how can I win the heart of a woman like Avery?

  After my shower, I’m grumpy about returning to the hotel. Jett notices my mood and wears his hangdog face as we drive over. I consider saying something reassuring to him, but I can’t think of anything that sounds right. I also struggle to engage with my nephews. That’s why I never wanted kids. I can’t talk to them like I do adults, so I just say nothing.

  Jett still looks sad when I get him out of my beat-up truck. I carry his backpack with extra clothes inside. His asthma inhaler and a few other things rattle around as it swings in my hand.

  Io is staring out the front glass doors when we walk up. She sees Jett and turns to tell her mom. Avery appears, unlocks the door, and offers us a sleepy smile.

  “Hello,” she coos at Jett, leaning down to get eye level.

  His face does a 180, flipping from sad to happy in an instant. Giving her a shy grin, he clearly can’t wait to spend the day here. I hand Avery the backpack and try not to notice she’s wearing shorts. Her long tanned legs beg to be touched, but I’m not the guy who gets to know how they feel.

  “Bad night?” she asks after waving us in from the cold.

  “No.”

  “Are you a grumpy morning person?”

  “Are you?”

  “Yeah, sometimes.”

  Scratching at my beard, I exhale hard. “I don’t know. Leave me alone.”

  Avery laughs at my irritation before running her fingers through Jett’s hair. Is she checking if he’s clean?

  “I gave him a bath.”

  “Because I didn’t?”

  Frowning at her question, I step back. “I’ll be over around six. Is that too late?”

  “No,” she says, picking up a jealous Io while still fiddling with Jett’s hair.

  My boy looks at her as if she’s magic. I scowl harder, angry I can’t spend the day with Avery. All I ever fucking do is work. Or sleep or watch a movie while waiting to go to bed. Life’s been a drain for as long as I can remember, but the last year stole whatever good feeling I had left.

  “Is Jett allergic to any foods?” she asks as I step back and prepare to leave.

  “No. I mean, I don’t think so,” I say, suddenly unsure. I look at my child as if he might know. “Why?”

  “Yesterday, we kept our meals very mundane since I didn’t know his allergies. I hoped to be more creative today.”

  “Creative, how?”

  “Stir-fry for lunch and lohikeitto for dinner,” she says and then explains, “It’s Bjorn’s favorite childhood meal.”

  For the first time today, I’m not jealous of Jett for getting to spend his time here. Well, stir-fry would be an acceptable cost to be around Avery. The foreign shit is a no-go.

  “I’ll text Lizette and ask,” I say and wait for Avery’s disapproving frown.

  Instead, she nuzzles Io’s nose and strokes Jett’s head. My boy’s goofy smile is back in full force. Avery is so casually beautiful in the morning. Her blonde hair hangs soft and loose around her shoulders. She wears a Cave City T-shirt, khaki shorts, and house slippers. The hotel is well heated, making her summer outfit suitable despite the outside cold.

  With her looking so beautiful and acting so gentle, I’m struck with a need to make her mine. For nearly a minute, I can’t make myself move. My feet remain planted to the ground as I watch her. Avery knows I’m staring, but she doesn’t smirk or give me shit. Her gaze washes over her daughter’s face and then Jett’s before finally focusing on me.

  “It’s going to be okay,” she says in a voice that knocks a heavy burden from my shoulders.

  Soon, I’ll be stressed again. I’m my own worst enemy, and remaining tense is how I live and breathe.

  Yet, right now, in this tacky hotel, with a sexy woman promising the world isn’t out to get me, I believe in the lie.

  THE TWIN

  My second day with Jett is better than the first. He talks more, and I’m less edgy about how to care for him. I don’t have much experience watching kids who aren’t Io and Pollux. Yesterday, I kept thinking Jett would freak out or cry or bully my baby girl. Now, I understand him a little better. He also seems more comfortable asking me for bathroom trips and snacks.

  I’m actually a little sad when Kiefer shows up in the evening, and Jett needs to leave. He looks so brokenhearted as I put on his jacket and promise I’ll see him soon.

  An hour later, I can’t stop worrying over Jett. I don’t even know if Kiefer plans to bring him back tomorrow. Do I want to be his permanent babysitter? Is that why I can’t settle down?

  Savvy agr
ees to watch Io while I go to talk to Kiefer.

  “Get yourself sorted,” she says and hands over my jacket. “You won’t rest tonight otherwise.”

  Driving over in the dreary wet evening, I’m unsure what I want. I feel on edge like back before I decided to move to Pema. Can I prevent myself from doing something stupid and unpredictable?

  Kiefer and Jett live in a garden apartment in a nondescript line of units with light beige-and-white siding. The complex’s green area looks tidy. I also spot a tiny side yard off Kiefer’s unit. I imagine a few toys back there to keep Jett busy during the rare moments when he plays at home.

  At my future duplex, I’ll have a small back area. Less of a yard than a courtyard for Io and me to chill. The local park backs onto the property, allowing us plenty of green space if we need it. Every time I start second-guessing my decision—especially after seeing Savvy’s future larger suburban-style yard—I remind myself of the location.

  Walking around Pema’s small downtown area is an entirely new experience. I grew up on a farm, isolated from town, needing to drive everywhere. I’m embracing something novel. That’s a good thing. I’m not screwing over my sweet daughter. She’ll have Savvy’s yard to play in, too.

  Despite my positive thinking, seeing the apartment’s little fenced side yard ups my anxiety. Once Kiefer answers, looking irritated, I’m immediately ready to bail.

  Before I can flip him off and walk away, his dark-as-charcoal eyes warm at the sight of me. Even if I’m wearing a heavy jacket with a hoody, he still gives me the once-over as if he’s imagining what’s hiding underneath.

  “Can I come inside?”

  “No,” he says, blocking entry.

  I get my feelings hurt, assume he has a woman inside, and prepare to throw a massive tantrum. Then, I realize he’s fucking with me in the way I did him yesterday. Smiling now, I step closer.

  “It’s really cold out here,” I murmur. “All my bits are getting hard and chilled.”

  Kiefer gives me that “Are you for real” look and refuses to move. A gust of winter air shakes me, forcing him to relent and allow sanctuary from the cold.