In the Wind Read online

  Mac stands up and gives me a nod before gesturing to his woman. She stops singing whatever the hell she and Colbie are attempting to harmonize on stage. Soon, she is out the door with Mac with his muscle close behind.

  "You made a friend," Colbie says to me. "Male bonding makes me nauseous. Just keep that in mind."

  Ignoring Colbie, I walk to Sawyer to see if she wants to do anything this afternoon while the siblings enjoy naptime. She refuses to look at me.

  "I want nap time too," she mumbles.

  "Of course, you do."

  Sawyer slides out the booth, flips me off, and walks out the door. Colbie bounces behind her, still howling the song from earlier. Bodie waits for me to walk with her.

  "You made a mistake setting up Sawyer with Stanley," she says, while Sawyer and Colbie speed out of the parking lot in the latter's red SUV.

  Feeling hot jealousy stir in my gut, I ask, "How do you figure?"

  "Stanley is hot."

  "How hot can a guy named Stanley be?"

  Bodie frowns at me from under her army hat. "Let me put it this way. I have mighty high standards, but if I was interested in dating a biker thug, I'd go for Stanley. No way would I date you though."

  "How come?" I ask, pissed about Stanley rather than Bodie's rejection.

  "I don't like men hung up on other women."

  I say nothing while she climbs into her truck and starts the engine. Leaning out of the open window, she looks at me.

  "You want Sawyer, but some other guy is gonna snap her up. That's how life works. You might be her soul mate, but she's a young, attractive, rich chick. Won't take her long to find someone willing to make her happy. He won't be you, but he'll do."

  "I don't think Sawyer's ready for a man."

  "Look, dumb fuck, you can tell yourself whatever lies sound right to your big damn head. One day, she'll move on. When she does, you'll freak out and scream you're soul mates, dammit!" Bodie pauses to laugh at my future stupidity. "It'll be too late. She'll fall in love, and I don't think Sawyer's the type to fall out of love just because you get a change of heart. She'll keep the man who helped her get over you. Then where will you be?"

  "I'll be fine living my life," I lie.

  "In that case, you should be happy about Stanley. He's a nice guy. Stupid and a little titty crazy but good people overall. You know, for a biker thug."

  "I am happy for her," I mutter, completely unconvincingly.

  "Whatever you say," she says, laughing again. "Whatever way this thing shakes out, I'll enjoy the show, so it's no skin off my ass."

  With these pearls of wisdom, Bodie hits the gas, kicking up dirt everywhere.

  "All this fucking money, and they can't pave the fucking parking lot?" I mutter to myself.

  I conveniently avoid wondering if I should push Sawyer harder rather than play the game Harlow suggested. Lies are my way out once again.

  Chapter 13

  Sawyer

  Mermaid

  Napping like the rest of the house, I dream of my pop teaching me to swim. The dream turns x-rated once Jace replaces Pop. I wake up feeling overheated and grumpy. Missing my pop makes sense. Missing Jace makes me feel like an idiot though.

  My mood shifts back and forth from depressed to angry. I can't stop thinking of Jace kissing me at the bar and then at the skating rink. He acts as if he wants me back, but is okay with me dating someone else. What the fuck?

  Looking for something to do with myself, I finally jump into the outdoor pool wearing my regular clothes. Fuck it. No one cares what I do around here.

  Diving deep, I pretend I'm Ariel from The Little Mermaid, just like Pop always called me. I twist, flip, and swim around for so long the house eventually wakes up. I see them inside, but feel no urge to join their silent conversations. I like the water. I like the heat overhead. I like the sound of approaching evening. Singing frogs and katydids put me in a serene mood.

  When I finally climb out of the pool, I strut into the house to the sound of Janis Joplin singing her passion, rage, and sorrow. The chick knew how to make herself heard. Showering, I sing along to Take Another Piece of My Heart.

  By the time Jace arrives, I've lost my anger from earlier. He sits next to me on the back porch while we wait for the siblings to finish doing whatever they're doing inside. For the first time in months, I really see the man Jace is now.

  He takes up too much space. When we were together, his shoulders weren't so wide or his chest so broad. His once short hair is now long enough to graze his shoulders. His cheekbones are sharper and his eyes harder. He looks like a man I don't know rather than the boy I loved for so long.

  "I'm sorry," I say, staring at the geese flying in the sunset.

  "For what exactly?"

  "All these months since you dumped me, I kept you frozen in my memories. You were my sweet, broken boy, but you're not him anymore. I'm pining over a stranger. It just hit me how stupid I've been to not see how things have changed."

  Jace gives me his side-eye look, and I think he's suspicious. I don't blame him. We played games as kids, and we're playing them again here in Texas. I wouldn't trust me either.

  "What's the catch?"

  "There's no catch, dingus. I've been in love with someone who doesn't exist anymore."

  "So now I'm a bad guy?"

  "No, you're a stranger, not the boy I knew. Maybe you changed before things ended, and I just never noticed. Maybe that's why they ended."

  "I'm not the enemy, Sawyer."

  "I know. You're here doing a job. It'd be easier if I went back and made you look good for Cooper, but I'm not feeling in a selfless mood. I want to stay here, and I plan to get what I want."

  Jace is quiet for a long time. Not knowing what he's thinking, I stand and step down from the small deck to the dry grass.

  "Last Dollar has everything I need in a home."

  "What about your family?" Jace asks, following me.

  "They don't need me in Ellsberg to be happy. People get self-sufficient after a certain age." Turning, I smile up at him. "I'm doing just fine here without seeing them. I miss my mom the most, but I not as much as I thought I would."

  "You can't stay here."

  "Why not?" I ask without anger.

  Jace hesitates at the lack of heat in my question. He's still waiting for me to make my move and leave him reeling.

  "This place is too wild. You need somewhere with barriers to keep you in check."

  "I won't take that as an insult, despite what you intended."

  "You don't know what I intend," Jace says, pissed now.

  "Save your drama. I've found a home here. The twins make me feel safe."

  "Are you kidding? They're insane."

  "No," I whisper, walking a little faster. "They're untamed. They never settle, yet they're never restless."

  Jace remains silent as we walk under large trees filled with squirrel winging twigs at us. I ignore the animals, but Jace makes threats with his dark eyes.

  "You'll get bored of their untamed chaos."

  "I know everyone's story in Ellsberg. I've seen everyone without their masks. There are no more surprises there."

  "Bullshit," he grunts. "You just said you don't know me, and I live there. You haven't heard everything."

  I think about his words while ignoring his bad mood. "True, but I willfully avoided knowing you. I know most people worth knowing. Those college students don't interest me. I saw how they followed Bailey around, wanting to bask in her light. I don't need groupies. The twins treat me like an equal and make me work to be heard. I never get that back home."

  We stop at a small creek, nearly dried up from the heat. Jace crosses his arms and bumps me.

  "You're living in a fantasy because you don't want to go home. You have to make Ellsberg boring and this place exciting. Otherwise, you'll realize what you're missing."

  "I know what I miss and he's not coming back. Everyone in Ellsberg wants to forget him, but I never will."

  "No
one wants to forget Kirk. They just hide their pain better than you."

  "Aren't you all kinds of thoughtful this evening."

  "I don't give a shit if you like me or not, Sawyer."

  Studying his face, I can't tell if he's lying. When Jace pulls into himself, he's a frigging mystery, even to himself.

  "Okay," I say finally.

  "I'm here to do a job."

  "I understand," I add, nearly laughing at him. "You do your job while I go ahead and ignore you doing it."

  Jace says nothing during the walk along the paths leading through the woods before we head back to the house. Before reaching the pool area, he's slapping his arms to kill mosquitoes feasting on him.

  "That hasn't changed," I say, grinning. "Bugs still think you're delicious."

  Jace grunts and slaps his arm again. "I need to pick up bug repellent."

  Our gazes meeting, I remember rubbing the spray all over his skin. I suspect he's remembering how often those caresses turned softer and hotter until we never reached the river.

  Jace reaches out and caresses my cheek with the back of his hand. I struggle not to show how good his touch feels. I also fail.

  "We should be friends again," he murmurs.

  "Why?" I ask, adding more space between us.

  "I miss you," he says, and I flash him a dirty look. "We were friends for longer than we were lovers. I wish we could be friends again."

  I'm uninterested in returning to a time when Jace was only my confident. "I don't want to be friends with you."

  Jace moves quickly, yet I'm not startled when his lips meet mine. I suck at his tongue while shoving him away. The kiss ends before he returns for a second. I nearly tackle him, wanting more than a kiss. Forcing my lips away, I move around a chair to keep him from making another move.

  "I don't want to be your friend," I say as if I can't still taste him.

  "How do you know? You say I'm different now. Maybe you'll like the new me. We should find out."

  "Why?"

  My question startles him, and Jace frowns at me. "Don't you miss being friends?"

  "You broke my heart. Why would I ever want to be your friend?"

  "I didn't take you for cowardly."

  "It's called common sense, asshole."

  Jace glances over my head at another flock of geese. When his gaze returns to me, I sense he's sad. Or least pretending to be.

  "This might be the last time we can hang out together like this. Eventually, Cooper will realize you won't come home, and he'll have me return to Ellsberg. If we want to be friends again, this would be the time."

  "You're manipulating me."

  "How can you know what I'm doing when you don't really know me anymore?"

  "Stop using my words against me," I growl, crossing my arms over my nipples poking excitedly through my tee.

  Jace gives me a grin, and I want to laugh so badly. Moving around the chair, he nudges me with his knee and leans closer. The proximity of his lips makes me edgy. They're so damn kissable.

  "You were the best friend I ever had, Sawyer Johansson. I messed up what we had, but we're strong enough to overcome my stupidity."

  "I'm over you," I say in a way that proves I'm lying.

  "The romance stuff between us is old news."

  Ignoring Jace's fingers playing with one of my curls, I mutter, "That's easy for you to say. You dumped me. You had nothing to get over."

  "But you're over me."

  I loved Jace for half of my life. He was my best friend before he was my lover. I planned our entire lives out. He was my love. One day, I believe he would be my husband and the father of my perfectly gorgeous kids. Yet suddenly all of my love meant shit, and he was gone. Now, I'm torn between resentment and longing.

  "I'll think about it," I say, slapping his face.

  Jace narrows his eyes, yet says nothing. I only smile at his expression.

  "Mosquito," I lie. "Let's see if the McLaughlins have any repellent before you're eaten alive."

  Jace grants me a slight smile, but he's nervous I'm playing with him. Maybe I am. Will I tempt him with friendship then hurt him the way he hurt me? Do I still want revenge? Was hurting him even worth it since we'd never be even? I trusted Jace completely until the day he abandoned me. Nothing I ever did to him would hurt as badly, allowing me a hollow vengeance.

  I imagine Pop giving me advice. He might tell me how moving on was the best revenge. Of course, he might mention how gutting a man with his own knife was also the best revenge.

  So many options.

  Chapter 14

  Jace

  Border Radio

  Sawyer smiles at Stanley, and I nearly jump across the table to tear off the fucker's face. How had I been dumb enough to agree to this setup? Bodie smirks at me, clearly enjoying my anger. For Stanley's part, he doesn't even acknowledge me. Once again, I'm the soft guy no one fears.

  "I'll see you this weekend," the blond pretty boy says, backing away from our table at the Hidey-hole.

  Sawyer holds his gaze until the guy leaves. Then she focuses her smile on me.

  "Isn't he dreamy?" she asks. "Just between us friends?"

  "I think he's into weird butt stuff," I mutter.

  Bodie frowns. "As compared to normal butt stuff?"

  "Yeah," I say, giving her a smile.

  Sawyer narrows her eyes. Realizing she's jealous of Bodie's acknowledgement of my existence, I feel better regarding my rage at her dating Stanley.

  "I heard he cries after sex," Colbie whispers loudly. "He's very sensitive."

  Bodie rolls her eyes. "Good thing he's hot. The crying thing is a real deal breaker."

  "I cry after sex," Zane says, sitting down next to Bodie. "You know, if I can't free myself from the chick's cuddling. Staying overnight is my deal breaker."

  "Until Yesenia," Colbie murmurs.

  "Yeah, she's a keeper."

  Bodie sighs. "Gross."

  "Why?"

  "He's such a disgusting manbearpig, yet one virgin cleanses his dick from its rot. Not buying it."

  "First of all," Zane says, "nice visual." Once Bodie and Zane high-five each other, he continues, "Secondly, dear sister, love is a powerful do-over button."

  "Yes, it is," I say without thinking.

  Sawyer glares at me. "Some things can't be cleansed."

  "Wounds do heal."

  "Some fester as the infection spreads."

  "Another nice visual," Zane says.

  "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger," I tell Sawyer because I can't stop pushing.

  "Hey, let's share embarrassing moments." Colbie announces. "I came up with that idea because of how you two are embarrassing yourself right now."

  Sawyer rolls her eyes, but Zane is game.

  "During our Sunflower Festival," he says, "I binged on beer, barbecue, and burritos. Ended up in the toilet here at the bar with explosive diarrhea and no toilet paper. As if that wasn't sexy enough, I puked and it got everywhere. So I'm stuck in the toilet stall covered in puke and shit. Then I doze off from all the booze and fall off the toilet seat. Finally, some guy sees me flopping around in between the stalls and gets my sisters."

  "We were thrilled to help," Bodie deadpans.

  "Ooh, my turn!" Colbie cries. "One day, I was rubbing in the faces of these uppity bitches how I'm super nice and close to God. I was really selling my goodness, when out of nowhere, a nun jumps on my back, and I'm forced to punch her in the face. Just really awkward."

  "Why would a nun attack you?" Sawyer asks, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "You did something, didn't you?"

  "Not at all. I was actually behaving, which just proves how behaving only leads to bad things."

  Bodie smiles. "We have a theory the nun was either possessed by the devil or someone slipped her drugs. We're hoping it was drugs."

  Colbie nods. "Being possessed must be awful."

  "Now you," Bodie says to Sawyer.

  "It's not embarrassing, but I don't like admitting
to it."

  "Prostitution?" Colbie asks, causing Sawyer to take a swipe at her.

  We all laugh except Sawyer. I can't tell if she wants to be in a bad mood or can't let me know she's in a good one.

  "When I was a kid, my family visited the Philippines. We traveled to a really poor area where people can barely feed their families. Pop wanted us to see how there's ugliness and beauty everywhere. So we had dinner with a family, and they served dog."

  "Evil," Colbie whispers.

  "I was nine and hungry. Besides, it would have been rude to say no."

  "Yes, and we all know you're allergic to rudeness."

  "Shut up."

  "Wait, was this dog you ate a Poodle?" Bodie asks. "We don't view them as real dogs."

  "I don't know what it was. I didn't see it in dog form. It's like eating a hamburger. You don't see the cow."

  "Evil," Colbie whispers again.

  "Fuck off," Sawyer growls.

  Bodie and Zane laugh at Sawyer's anger. Mainly because Colbie's clearly messing with her.

  "I punched a nun," Colbie finally tells Sawyer. "Stop being so maudlin. Not an attractive quality in a lady."

  "Lady," Zane snorts.

  The women glare at him, making Zane smile wider.

  "Bodie, tell the one where you ate that guy's hot dog, and it had a cigarette and gum in it."

  "How is that embarrassing for me?" she asks. Before anyone can answer, Bodie continues, "My most embarrassing moment happened when I was thirteen, and Dad took everyone to European Disneyland. I had a sinus infection, so I stayed home with only Mama Phuong."

  "I remember that trip. I was a princess."

  Bodie ignores her sister and continues, "I kept hearing weird noises at night and the walls would shake during storms. Not like normal, but in a possessed way. I was convinced the house was haunted, but I refused to leave. I mean, it's our house, and I'm not letting some asshole poltergeist push us out."

  "That is pretty lame," Zane says, causing Bodie to look pained.

  "I was like a douche from a horror movie who runs up the stairs instead of out the front door. As a McLaughlin, it's one of my most shameful moments."

  "But eating someone else's gum is fine," Sawyer says, shrugging. "Interesting."